Some people believe that progress is always good. Others believe in preserving tradition. Which do you think is more important and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Some people think that the development is critical and useful.
However
, others see that is
fine to keep practicing
and maintaining Change the spelling
practising
with
fixed traditions. From my point of view, I see Change preposition
apply
that is
important to develop our mentality
and life
as well for several reasons including the primary effect of this
mentality
on our life
in several areas , and develop our nations through the economy and the
Correct article usage
apply
education
.
First and foremost, the developments and enhancements in different aspects are integral part
of our lives which affect our attitudes and behaviours in solving our problems. Fix the agreement mistake
parts
Therefore
, keeping up-to-date and maintaining to develop our selves
in various aspects Correct your spelling
ourselves
such
as but not limited to in
social, financial,mental and science are game-changers to enhance our Change preposition
apply
the
quality of Correct article usage
apply
life
. Some people motivated
to learn more and more to improve their skills, Add a missing verb
are motivated
competences
and knowledge. Correct your spelling
competencies
Hence
, acquring
Correct your spelling
acquiring
this
mentality
will be improving
Wrong verb form
improve
our selves
which Correct your spelling
ourselves
affect
our nations and countries in different areas including Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
education
and economy
.
Correct article usage
the economy
Additionally
, keeping hold the
fixed traditions and ignoring to develop or expose Change preposition
of the
our selves
Correct your spelling
ourselves
for
any new is Change preposition
to
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
mentality
. Moreover
, there are several communities and countries around the world have
developed the quality of their lives Correct pronoun usage
that have
,
because they realized the Remove the comma
apply
importnace
of Correct your spelling
importance
changing
and Replace the word
change
the
enhancement. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, Singapore was poor
country economically, socially, and scientifically. Correct article usage
a poor
However
, the leaders of this
country realized the importnace
of development ,so they changed their Correct your spelling
importance
education
system in all stages, formal language, ethical values, regulations and laws.
In conclusion, the
improvement is a vital and Correct article usage
apply
an
essential part Correct article usage
apply
in
our lives to develop our countries, nations and generations. Change preposition
of
Hence
, acquring
Correct your spelling
achieving
this
direction will base
a common ground which positively Verb problem
build
affect
Change the verb form
affects
in
various areas including Change preposition
apply
education
,social
, and Replace the word
society
economy
. Correct article usage
the economy
However
, holding on with fixed
mindset and ignoring any updates or changes will Correct article usage
a fixed
be avoiding
us Verb problem
prevent
to
Change preposition
from
enahnce
our Correct your spelling
enhancing
the
quality of Correct article usage
apply
life
.Submitted by asem.fraig on
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general
Ensure clarity in expressing ideas. Some sentences can be clearer with appropriate transitions and simpler structures.
grammar
Work on reducing grammatical and spelling errors (e.g., 'acquring' should be 'acquiring', 'enahnce' should be 'enhance').
content
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, delve deeper into how Singapore specifically changed its education system or economic policies.
grammar
Ensure proper agreement in sentences, e.g., 'keeping up-to-date and maintaining to develop our selves' should be 'keeping up-to-date and ensuring self-development'.
structure
Introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing a strong framework for the essay.
content
The main points are generally well-supported and relevant to the topic.
structure
The essay exhibits a logical structure with a clear progression of ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.