Some people believe that technology has made our lives simpler and more convenient. Others argue that it has made us more isolated and dependent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
We live in an age where some individuals believe that innovation has made our lives easier and more suitable,
while
others argue that it has made people
less-social
and defenseless. Correct your spelling
less social
Although
technology brings new inventions to people
's life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
but
it has Remove the conjunction
apply
major
impact on Add an article
a major
the
social connections. I will discuss both of these views and will support my opinion with arguments in the essay below.
Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, in previous decades, people
's life
are indeed difficult than nowadays. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For example
, in previous centuries, womens
Correct your spelling
women
women's
wash
Wrong verb form
washed
the
clothes Change the word
their
by
their hands near the bank of the river rather than Change preposition
with
the
washing machines which Correct article usage
apply
is
currently Correct subject-verb agreement
are
using
as Wrong verb form
used
the
necessity of Correct article usage
a
life
. Another notable example is the
telecommunication, in the past, the telegram Correct article usage
apply
is
not a bed of roses. Wrong verb form
was
People
have to wait a days
but Correct quantifier usage
few days
also
sometimes months to receive the answer of
their telegram, But, now Change preposition
to
people
get their reply in a few seconds.
Secondly
, online working and freelancing have becoming
common Change the verb form
become
in
these days. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, mostly
jobs and businesses are remote, Correct your spelling
most
people
do not have to interact with other people
, which makes them socially distant and isolated. Furthermore
, this
thing applies to every age of person. For example
, students are taking lectures online, doing presentations on laptops and research
on the Wrong verb form
researching
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
instead
of group
projects or Add a missing verb
doing group
combine
Wrong verb form
combining
study
with their classmates. Fix the agreement mistake
studies
Moreover
, this
attitude makes them less confident and lacks
Correct subject-verb agreement
lack
their
ability to interact with various kinds of human beings. Change the word
the
Additionally
, in their professional careers, they have to tackle with
Change preposition
apply
the
communication skills.
In conclusion, innovation has made our Correct article usage
apply
life
easier in terms of electrical appliances or connecting with other individuals. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
On the other hand
, excessive use of technology have
made us alone and Change the verb form
has
disconnect
us from social Wrong verb form
disconnected
life
. This
affect
not only Change the verb form
affects
job related
Add a hyphen
job-related
person
but Fix the agreement mistake
people
also
young students.Submitted by kirivlogs0 on
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coherence
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas. Sometimes, the transitions between points are not very smooth, making it slightly difficult to follow the argument.
task achievement
Try to support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
clear writing
Avoid using repetitive or vague phrases. Be more precise and concise in your writing to enhance clarity.
content
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and presents a clear opinion.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
There is a good use of examples to support the main points, making the essay more relatable and understandable.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.