IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries people are living in a throw away society where things are used for a short time and throw away. what are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to

#countries #people #throw #society #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is fair to say that we all are living in a very fast-paced world, where there are some places which have transformed completely into a throw-away society. There is an enormous peak in
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 as observed by scientists. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explore the causal effects and the leading issues
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
.
A
Change preposition
As a
show examples
 matter of fact
is that
Verb problem
,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have very busy schedules nowadays
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Correct your spelling
so
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they do not think twice before throwing anything.
Firstly
Linking Words
, because of internet trends,
for example
Linking Words
, the famous "buying in bulk
trend
Use synonyms
" individuals buy the
stuff
Use synonyms
 without thinking about whether they need it or not. They just get it because of a
trend
Use synonyms
, that too in bulk, and
then
Linking Words
 after showcasing it on public platforms they just throw it away or never use it again.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 watch something going viral on the internet, they want it too as they get tempted after watching so many
people
Use synonyms
 having it and they
also
Linking Words
 want to try it.
However
Linking Words
, they throw it without making proper use of it, once it is out of
trend
Use synonyms
. There are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of issues arising
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
waste
Use synonyms
 production is enhancing day by day which is detrimental to the environment. It is one of the leading causes of pollution as well
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
 some places, proper
waste
Use synonyms
 management is not there.
This
Linking Words
 leads to the second issue i.e. danger for animals. When
waste
Use synonyms
 management is not proper, many animals get harmed because sometimes they eat the
stuff
Use synonyms
 on roads and streets, which enters into their food chain, ultimately leading to the death of the animal.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the hard work of
people
Use synonyms
 who make
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
stuff
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 goes in vain when the consumers do not use it properly. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 should mindfully buy things and once they think the
stuff
Use synonyms
 cannot be used they should recycle or reuse it. The government should
also
Linking Words
 pay attention towards
this
Linking Words
 issue and should take initiatives to
to
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 proper
waste
Use synonyms
 management as well.
Submitted by sharngadhra53 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the causes and consequences of a throw-away society. Ensure that you include even more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, work further on ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs and points, and make sure each point is fully developed and clearly connected to your main argument.
overall
There are some minor grammatical inaccuracies and repetitive words (e.g., twice usage of 'proper'), hence pay attention to vocabulary range and grammar correctness.
task achievement
Your introduction is clear and sets the tone for the essay. It effectively introduces the topic and states that you will explore the causes and issues.
task achievement
The body paragraphs effectively identify various causes and consequences of a throw-away society, making your stance quite clear.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-defined conclusion that summarizes the main points and also provides a call-to-action, enhancing the overall effectiveness of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obsolescence
  • Consumerism
  • Sustainable practices
  • Environmental impact
  • Depletion of natural resources
  • Landfills
  • Pollution
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Social inequality
  • Marketing strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: