Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older, more traditional values, such as respect for the local community, in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A tendency for individuals to behave greedily and selfishly has become a foundation of today's

world

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. Some

people

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argue that we should return to more traditional values, resulting in a better

society

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to live in. I partly agree with the opinion that restoring traditional values is necessary for a sustainable

society

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in the future. On the one hand, some

people

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believe that modern

society

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is fueled by individuals' greed, primarily influenced by capitalism, which has driven a number of achievements.

For example

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, the invention of cars was spurred by the demand for more efficient trades, ultimately making

people

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more affluent. The pursuit of wealth has led to financial success, which has funded

further

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innovation.

Thus

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, the

world

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has progressed significantly

due to

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this

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cycle of aspiration and innovation.

On the other hand

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this

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hyper-capitalized

society

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has

also

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resulted in vast global disparities, with the rich becoming richer

while

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the poor remain disadvantaged. If all capitalists continue to pursue only their own interests without redistributing wealth or supporting local communities,

society

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risks falling into corruption.

Furthermore

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, excessive reliance on greed and selfishness often leads

people

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to neglect environmental responsibilities, contributing to global issues

such

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as climate change. In conclusion,

while

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it is true that greed has given birth to a number of essential inventions in today's

world

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, it is equally important to shift our focus from merely pursuing personal gain to ensuring the sustainability of our

world

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Therefore

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, I partly agree that

people

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need to embrace some traditional values in order to preserve our

society

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for the future.

amThu Sep 19 2024

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task achievement

To improve your score, ensure your ideas are more fully developed. While you have addressed both sides of the argument, expanding on each point with more detailed evidence or examples would strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by using cohesive devices. This makes the essay flow more logically and keeps the reader engaged.

introduction

You have effectively introduced the topic and stated your stance clearly. Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay.

logical structure

Your essay is well-organized, with a logical structure that makes it easy to follow your argument.

supported main points

You have provided a balanced discussion by acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of greed and selfishness in modern society.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

modern society
traditional values
familial bonds
community ties
collective well-being
individual gain
responsibility
care for others
neglect
isolation
honesty
respect
cooperation
individual greed
ethical conduct
social cohesion
crime rates
mental health
general happiness

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Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older, more traditional values, such as respect for the local community, in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?