Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work that with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answers.
It is argued that the growing
in
social issues involving teenagers and Change preposition
apply
children
are parents
responsibility Change noun form
parents'
parent's
due to
the hours they spent
at work. I Wrong verb form
spend
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
that is
not only related to time
mothers and fathers Correct article usage
the time
spent
with their Wrong verb form
spend
children
because schools plays
a significant role and the advent of social Change the verb form
play
media
.
To begin
with, the
educations show a significant impact on child Correct article usage
apply
behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
Children
spent many hours at school without parents
observation. Change noun form
parents'
parent's
In addition
,their
are exposed to many bullying and violent situations. Correct pronoun usage
they
Moreover
, tutors are response
Replace the word
responsible
to solve
and Change preposition
for solving
deal
with Wrong verb form
dealing
this
problems in order to manage Correct determiner usage
these
the
social issues. A recent study Correct article usage
apply
on
Change preposition
in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
provide
data on time Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
children
spent at school and summer camps more than 7 hours which is
can show Unnecessary verb
apply
inappropriate
Add an article
the inappropriate
an inappropriate
effect
on Fix the agreement mistake
effects
Correct article usage
a child
child
personality and attitude.
Change noun form
child's
On the other hand
, social media
show adverse effect
on Fix the agreement mistake
effects
childrent
habits. Correct your spelling
children
Furthermore
, the devoleping
in Correct your spelling
development
technolgies
especially in some computer games Correct your spelling
technologies
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
to interacte
with people from different cultures and communities. Correct your spelling
interact
This
can strongly affect the generation mentality due to
ideas sharing. Moreover
, social media
posts by adults provide many new nation
and habits to Fix the agreement mistake
nations
children
.
In conclusion, the limitation of social problems is affected by several factors. School
and teachers have a huge responsibility Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
on
Change preposition
for
this
issued
and the social Replace the word
issue
media
effect. So it not
only Add a missing verb
is not
parent
responsibilityCorrect article usage
the parent
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position, but it would benefit from further development and elaboration of ideas. Make sure to include more specific and detailed reasons and examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph contribute to this central topic. Your essay would be stronger if transitions between paragraphs and ideas were more fluid and logical.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage to convey your ideas more clearly. Proofreading your essay to correct minor errors in spelling and grammar will improve the overall quality of your writing.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt and attempts to provide specific reasons and examples.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example