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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990, 2000 and 2010.

The table shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990, 2000 and 2010.
The chart compares data about the productivity of
milk
Use synonyms
 in 4 countries,mainly the
Netherlands
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,Australia,Tanzania and
Guatemala
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 between 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
poor
Correct word choice
apply
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though
Guatemala
Use synonyms
's production was at the start,the
Netherlands
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 was at the top in 1990.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
yearly
Add an article
the yearly
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 production of
Guatemala
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 tripled in 2010. At the outset,
although
Linking Words
 people in the
Netherlands
Use synonyms
 produced over 11 and quarter
million
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litres
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 of
milk
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 in 1990, Tanzanians got only 87
thousand
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litres
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 year.If Australian cows gave 11
million
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 246
thousand
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litres
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 of
milk
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 in the start,people in
Guatemala
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 got only 26
thousand
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litres
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, after ten years
Netherlands
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' and Australia's numbers decreased to 11.155
thousand
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 and 11.105
thousand
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litres
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 respectively. In 2000 amount of
Guatemala
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's data doubled to 55
thousand
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 and Tanzania's cows gave more than 140
thousand
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litres
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,Despite of
Netherlands
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' amount jumping to about 11 and half
million
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litres
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,Australia's score fell to over 9
million
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litres
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 of
milk
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 in 2010.
In addition
Linking Words
, people in
Guatemala
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 earned 84
thousand
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litres
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 in 2010,155
thousand
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litres
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 of
milk
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 given by cows in Tanzania.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, netherlands, guatemala, million, litres, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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