IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the government should use extra money to fund programs to improve the environment. Others think that it is better for the government to spend money to support artistic programs. Which option do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There is an ongoing debate about whether
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend extra money to improve
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think
this
Linking Words
 is necessary work for our
world
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 others argue that funds should be invested in artistic
fields
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that more money should
fund in
Verb problem
be spent on
show examples
 eco-friendly programs. On the one hand,
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the authority
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authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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 should spend more resources
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 environmental
protaction
Correct your spelling
protection
 programmes.
Environment
Use synonyms
 is the
future
Use synonyms
 of all human beings. There is only one
world
Use synonyms
 for us. As the largest public management unit,
government
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the government
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 is responsible
to protect
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for protecting
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
future
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 lives.
In addition
Linking Words
, making
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 could improve everyone's quality of life.
For example
Linking Words
, Singapore was
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 building
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a garden city. With its
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 improvement, the local residents' lifespan had a
signigicant
Correct your spelling
significant
 increase and
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 to
top
Add an article
the top
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
world
Use synonyms
 now.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
Correct your spelling
individuals
inviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 strongly believe that it would be better to put money into artistic
fields
Use synonyms
,
Correct your spelling
because
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 art can enrich
people
Use synonyms
's
Correct your spelling
spiritual
spritual
Correct your spelling
spiritual
world
Use synonyms
. In fact, there is a realistic issue that we must consider
is that
Verb problem
:
show examples
 how can we allow the limited resources to produce maximum effects
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Investing
environment
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 is investing
Use synonyms
people's
Change preposition
in people's
show examples
future
Use synonyms
. With the improvement of
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
, everyone will have a better life quality, so they can pay more attention to the
fields
Use synonyms
 that they are interested
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
This
Linking Words
 will
also
Linking Words
 indirectly contribute to the development of
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. In conclusion,
Add an article
the authority
show examples
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 should cost more
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 programmes.
Although
Linking Words
 arts
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 important to our
spritual
Correct your spelling
spiritual
world
Use synonyms
, the investment
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is the investment for all
fields
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
's
future
Use synonyms
.

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Grammar and Punctuation
Work on refining your grammar and punctuation to ensure clarity and correctness. For example, 'commited' should be 'committed' and 'protaction' should be 'protection'.
Supporting Details
Try expanding on your supporting examples. For instance, provide more detailed data or additional specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Task Response
Your essay clearly presents and supports a position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effective and contribute to the overall coherence.
Logical Structure
You have logically structured your essay with clear main points and contrast established between the two viewpoints.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate
  • allocate funds
  • environmental conservation
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable development
  • protect wildlife
  • reduce pollution
  • promote sustainability
  • artistic development
  • cultural expression
  • creative industries
  • nurture talent
  • artistic innovation
  • enrich society
  • budget allocation
  • prioritize
  • public opinion
  • government responsibility
  • social welfare
  • public wellbeing
What to do next:
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