IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good trend, but some people oppose it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#aircraft #transport #fruits #vegetables #countries #plants #season #people #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's modern era, the transportation of
fruits
 and
vegetables
 has increased a lot in some nations where
such
 plants are difficult to grow. some believe it is high profit trade
while
 others are against
this
 idea. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion
at the end
.
To begin
 with, businessmen are always trying to find a profitable way to make
money
, and trading rare
fruits
 and
vegetables
 is one of those. They figured out that some countries do not have specific plants in which they can do
business
 and make a lot of
money
. A great example of
this
 is cherry which is hard to find in the Middle Eastern country and sold in the market at a high price.
Therefore
, doing
such
 a profitable trade is a dream for everyone who wants to become rich.
On the other hand
, there is always a drawback in any
business
.
in other words
, the trade of
fruits
 and
vegetables
 can be harmful because some plants are not in a country it does not mean that trading them can be beneficial.
For example
: in my country not only it is hard to find fugs but
also
 people do not like them and those of the traders who brought them before for
business
 lost a lot of
money
due to
this
 case.
However
, it can not make
this
business
 less popular among people who know that it is a very great opportunity for becoming a wealthy man. In conclusion, I strongly believe that trading
fruits
 and
vegetables
 is the most profitable
business
 in the world which can make so much
money
 for traders even though, some others think it is just west of the fund.
Submitted by abdullahhabibi9999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical connection between points to improve coherence and cohesion. Consider using more transitional phrases and linking words to create smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are fully supported with relevant, specific examples. This can help in making the essay more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Good attempt at providing a balanced view by presenting both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly stated, setting the context and summarizing your viewpoint effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Transportation
  • Fruits and vegetables
  • Hardly grow
  • Out of season
  • Advantages
  • Access
  • Variety
  • Demand
  • Reliance
  • Local production
  • Disadvantages
  • Carbon emissions
  • Climate change
  • Expensive
  • Traditional farming practices
  • Opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: