IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that developed
nations
Use synonyms
 should allow more intake of refugees and facilitate them with basic
food
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 and housing. I strongly
diasgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with
this
Linking Words
 idea because of the impact it brings to their
economy
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 and the dangers inflicted upon the
citizens
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. Providing basic shelter and diet facilities would lead to a strain on the welcoming nation's
economy
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. The financing of
such
Linking Words
 programs is usually done using a chunk of the taxpayers' money who work really hard just to make
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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ends meet
Correct your spelling
in turn
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inturn
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in turn
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 leading to
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frustrated
frustated
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frustrated
citizens
Use synonyms
 with
heightened
Add an article
a heightened
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Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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level
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levels
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 of hatred against the refugees.
For example
Linking Words
, In Canada, many refugees seek asylum as it gives them
food
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 and shelter, but
this
Linking Words
 has come at the cost of increased taxes in their own
economy
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, immigrants,
specially
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especially
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 the ones from
underdevloped
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underdeveloped
 or developing
nations
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, often have zero to minimal
skill
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skills
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 to survive in a developed nation and are forced to resort to illegal ways of finding a job, whether it is extorting money, selling drugs or any
such
Linking Words
 criminal activities.
This
Linking Words
 is a direct threat to the
citizens
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 residing there. Providing them shelter or
food
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 only encourages them to not work harder.
For example
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developed
nations
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 like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 and the UK, recently there was a spike reported in the number of immigrant crimes
due to
Linking Words
 the increased influx and flexibility of
such
Linking Words
 facilities.
To conclude
Linking Words
, rich
nations
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 should not allow more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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immigrants
neither
Correct word choice
nor
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 should they provide amenities like
food
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 and housing in order to protect their own
citizens
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 and grow their
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economy
Fix the agreement mistake
economies
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all arguments are clearly linked together. Avoid unnecessary repetition and make clear transitions between points.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific and relevant examples to make them persuasive.
task achievement
Address potential counterarguments to demonstrate a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
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