In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #people #fitness #trainer #sports #exercise #classes #development

Nowadays,

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

of lifestyles have been accepted by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society. One of the trends is that people have been hiring personal

trainers

for maintaining

Change preposition

to maintain

show examples

their health

instead

of attending exercise classes or joining sports clubs. There are some reasons behind

this

trend and I personally think that it is a negative development. The first point to mention is that

lifstyle

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

has changed significantly compared to the past, which is why individuals tend to hire personal

trainers

as it is easier for them to arrange their time to exercise.

For instance

, if one has a job that requires them to work different hours each day, they will not be able to register fixed scheduled clubs.

Whereas

, if those busy people hire personal

trainers

, it will be flexible in terms of the time for them to exercise, which is why they prefer

this

way.

However

, as far as I am concerned,

this

trend has a negative impact on the public when it comes to developing their communities. It is true that being a part of

sports

Add an article

a sports

show examples

club in their local area will help individuals to expand their relationships as they can interact with a wide range of neighbours.

However

, if a person

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

hire

Change the verb form

hires

show examples

a trainer and does not have any interactions with their community, they will be isolated in the area.

This

will result in the feeling of

lonliness

Correct your spelling

loneliness

and

this

is not mentally healthy for them.

To conclude

, more and more people have been hiring personal fitness

trainers

because their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

have become busier than a decade ago.

However

, I strongly believe that

this

trend has a negative impact on individuals in terms of their mental health as they will not be able to build relationships with others in their community.

Submitted by hiromi.1828.o on Thu Sep 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to clearly define each point in its own paragraph. For example, the point about flexibility in scheduling and the point about community interaction could each be expanded upon separately.

task achievement

Avoid small grammatical errors such as 'lifstyle' instead of 'lifestyle' and 'lonliness' instead of 'loneliness'. While these do not heavily impact your score, they can affect readability.

task achievement

Adding more specific examples or statistics could strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured, making it easy to follow the writer's arguments.

task achievement

A good balance between discussing both the reason for the trend and its positive or negative impacts.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both present and are relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

personalized workout plans
tailored
efficient
awareness
physical health
motivation
guidance
convenience
flexibility
exclusivity
status symbol
inaccessible
community engagement
social interaction
health outcomes
personal achievement
health-conscious

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In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory jon or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and gives your opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjets, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or this disagree?

Any country should be able to sell goods to other countries without the restrictions of the government. Do you agree or disagree?

Band 7+: Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?