In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #people #fitness #trainer #sports #exercise #classes #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

of lifestyles have been accepted by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society. One of the trends is that people have been hiring personal

trainers

Use synonyms

for maintaining

Change preposition

to maintain

show examples

their health

instead

Linking Words

of attending exercise classes or joining sports clubs. There are some reasons behind

this

Linking Words

trend and I personally think that it is a negative development. The first point to mention is that

lifstyle

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

has changed significantly compared to the past, which is why individuals tend to hire personal

trainers

Use synonyms

as it is easier for them to arrange their time to exercise.

For instance

Linking Words

, if one has a job that requires them to work different hours each day, they will not be able to register fixed scheduled clubs.

Whereas

Linking Words

, if those busy people hire personal

trainers

Use synonyms

, it will be flexible in terms of the time for them to exercise, which is why they prefer

this

Linking Words

way.

However

Linking Words

, as far as I am concerned,

this

Linking Words

trend has a negative impact on the public when it comes to developing their communities. It is true that being a part of

sports

Add an article

a sports

show examples

club in their local area will help individuals to expand their relationships as they can interact with a wide range of neighbours.

However

Linking Words

, if a person

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

hire

Change the verb form

hires

show examples

a trainer and does not have any interactions with their community, they will be isolated in the area.

This

Linking Words

will result in the feeling of

lonliness

Correct your spelling

loneliness

and

this

Linking Words

is not mentally healthy for them.

To conclude

Linking Words

, more and more people have been hiring personal fitness

trainers

Use synonyms

because their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

have become busier than a decade ago.

However

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that

this

Linking Words

trend has a negative impact on individuals in terms of their mental health as they will not be able to build relationships with others in their community.

Submitted by hiromi.1828.o on Thu Sep 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Try to clearly define each point in its own paragraph. For example, the point about flexibility in scheduling and the point about community interaction could each be expanded upon separately.

task achievement

Avoid small grammatical errors such as 'lifstyle' instead of 'lifestyle' and 'lonliness' instead of 'loneliness'. While these do not heavily impact your score, they can affect readability.

task achievement

Adding more specific examples or statistics could strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured, making it easy to follow the writer's arguments.

task achievement

A good balance between discussing both the reason for the trend and its positive or negative impacts.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both present and are relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

personalized workout plans
tailored
efficient
awareness
physical health
motivation
guidance
convenience
flexibility
exclusivity
status symbol
inaccessible
community engagement
social interaction
health outcomes
personal achievement
health-conscious

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
this day and age, the majority of museums require admission fees though the free entrance still maintains in others. In my opinion, although there are both the pros and cons in this topic ,the permission of entrance fees can be beneficial and the benefits are outweight the drawbacks
5.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.
In today’s complex world, numerous issues and topics are subject to debate. One such topic is, instead of teaching a foreign language to the students in secondary school we must teach them in primary school only. While it is true that every topic has its own advantages and disadvantages the benefits of the topic outweigh the drawbacks. This essay will explore the various advantages and demonstrate why they hold greater significance compared to the disadvantages.
4.5
band
Planting trees is very important. Some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while others say that housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?
Plating trees and housing facilities both are vital for the human race to survive. Trees provide oxygen a basic need for humans, whereas, housing facilities give personal space to reduce stress. If I had to pick among these I would pick trees however, on the brighter side we can take them side to side.
4.5
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
In this day and age, it has become increasingly prevelent for people to believe that young generation should be alert regarding differences between right and wrong, and parents should punish their child for their mistakes. I personally agree with this notion and there should be a line related to punishment.
7
band
Many Museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
It is a well-known fact that lots of museums' entrances aren’t free of charge while in some of them, you need to pay to see the exhibits. I believe that the reasons for the fee satisfy the drawbacks of this phenomenon.

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Many museums charge for admission while others are free Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Planting trees is very important. Some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while others say that housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Many Museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?