Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings . Some say it is a positive development while others say it is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Science has made
a
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apply
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rapid progress and
evolve
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evolved
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the whole world in recent times. Some
people
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are concerned about
this
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situation that computers are expected to surpass
the
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apply
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humans' mental ability in
near
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the near
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future
while
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others encounter
this
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as an outbreak made by researchers.
This
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essay will examine both sides of
this
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development and
finally
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put forward my stance regarding
this
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. To commence with, there are some convincing benefits if
this
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breakthrough
outclass
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the limited capacity of even great human minds.
Firstly
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, our ability is restricted to
work
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for some hours daily, as we require energy to function properly by consuming meals, and need
a good sleep
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good sleep
a night of good sleep
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to
work
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the following day.
Whereas
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,
machines
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not only can
work
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non-stop but
also
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they can finish the assigned task in shorter periods,
and
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apply
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ultimately improving the productivity of
work
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. They will be able to perform better and think beyond the limited intellectual power of
people
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if they are set free from manually installed programs.
On the other hand
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,
people
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are worried about the problems that
this
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progress may result in near future. One of the grave problems will be unemployment, as organizations will introduce more AI-based
machines
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to acquire the maximum output.
In other words
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, the more the dependency on
machines
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means the more the
people
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become jobless.
Furthermore
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, if these devices gain enough authority, they may afflict other species living nearby.
For instance
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, countries may use these powerful tools as a weapon in wars, whereby resulting in
a
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massive destruction and
millions
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millions of
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deaths. Probably, robots might take charge and demolish all other living creatures
from
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on
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this
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planet. Clearly, thinking of losing control over mechanoids is one of the rising problems of the time.
To conclude
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,
while
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it is argued that science is progressing in
forward
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the forward
a forward
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direction,
consequences
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the consequences
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that super
machines
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will have seem dreadful. In my honest opinion, humans must ensure their control
on
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over
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every
advancements
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advancement
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they make to guarantee peace and prosperity on Earth.
Submitted by muaaztousif2105 on

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task achievement
You should aim to provide more specific examples to support your points, particularly those that are relevant to the topic. This will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but you occasionally lack comprehensiveness. Try to elaborate more on your main points to provide a more thorough analysis.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. While your ideas are organized, ensuring smoother transitions between points can enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. This will help in presenting a more structured and coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the topic by discussing both positive and negative views about the development of intelligent computers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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