Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings . Some say it is a positive development while others say it is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Science has made
a
rapid progress and Remove the article
apply
evolve
the whole world in recent times. Some Wrong verb form
evolved
people
are concerned about this
situation that computers are expected to surpass the
humans' mental ability in Correct article usage
apply
near
future Correct article usage
the near
while
others encounter this
as an outbreak made by researchers. This
essay will examine both sides of this
development and finally
put forward my stance regarding this
.
To commence with, there are some convincing benefits if this
breakthrough outclass
the limited capacity of even great human minds. Change the verb form
outclasses
Firstly
, our ability is restricted to work
for some hours daily, as we require energy to function properly by consuming meals, and need a good sleep
to Remove the article
good sleep
a night of good sleep
work
the following day. Whereas
, machines
not only can work
non-stop but also
they can finish the assigned task in shorter periods, and
ultimately improving the productivity of Correct word choice
apply
work
. They will be able to perform better and think beyond the limited intellectual power of people
if they are set free from manually installed programs.
On the other hand
, people
are worried about the problems that this
progress may result in near future. One of the grave problems will be unemployment, as organizations will introduce more AI-based machines
to acquire the maximum output. In other words
, the more the dependency on machines
means the more the people
become jobless. Furthermore
, if these devices gain enough authority, they may afflict other species living nearby. For instance
, countries may use these powerful tools as a weapon in wars, whereby resulting in a
massive destruction and Correct article usage
apply
millions
deaths. Probably, robots might take charge and demolish all other living creatures Add the preposition
millions of
from
Change preposition
on
this
planet. Clearly, thinking of losing control over mechanoids is one of the rising problems of the time.
To conclude
, while
it is argued that science is progressing in forward
direction, Add an article
the forward
a forward
consequences
that super Correct article usage
the consequences
machines
will have seem dreadful. In my honest opinion, humans must ensure their control on
every Change preposition
over
advancements
they make to guarantee peace and prosperity on Earth.Change to a singular noun
advancement
Submitted by muaaztousif2105 on
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task achievement
You should aim to provide more specific examples to support your points, particularly those that are relevant to the topic. This will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but you occasionally lack comprehensiveness. Try to elaborate more on your main points to provide a more thorough analysis.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. While your ideas are organized, ensuring smoother transitions between points can enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. This will help in presenting a more structured and coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the topic by discussing both positive and negative views about the development of intelligent computers.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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