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Band 2.5

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss bot views and give your opinion.

#governments #support #artists #people #waste #money #bot
Some would argue that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 donating
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of money to artists,
while
 others believe it must be spent in more important places. I agree with
bedpinng
Correct your spelling
beeping
 assisting talented people because they may influent others to generate ideas that could help the community in the future. On the one hand, spending
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 amount of money could not
assore
Correct your spelling
assure
 that it will be reflected positively.
For example
, bringing expensive machines or instruments to the Ministry of Health can complete the
requeriments
Correct your spelling
requirements
 of one or two
hosbitals
Correct your spelling
hospitals
 not all, and not all of the
citicens
Correct your spelling
citizens
 of the
contory
Correct your spelling
contrary
country
 can be helped in these facilities. I believe that
this
 is true, supporting one ministry comes with
Correct your spelling
benefits
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 , but not treating all
proplemse
Correct your spelling
problems
.
On the other hand
,
Correct your spelling
there
ther
Correct your spelling
there
 are those that believe
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 need to give artists more money and
oppontanities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
For instance
, artists,actors, and
singirs
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singers
 can
ahare thier
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share their
 messages
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other nations around the world
esspicialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 with
Add an article
a song
the song
show examples
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
show examples
 by
singins
Correct your spelling
singles
 which can help
suffering
Change the verb form
to suffer
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with
Change preposition
from
show examples
deplession
Correct your spelling
depression
depletion
. I totally agree with
this
 statement and I believe that
Correct your spelling
government
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 must do it in order gain its
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
.
Submitted by rayan.mataq on

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task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task comprehensively. Your essay discusses both views, but it needs to delve deeper into each perspective and balance the discussion more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas clearly. Your essay would benefit from clearer paragraphing, with each paragraph having a distinct main idea and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the essay’s structure while your conclusion summarizes the main points and restates your opinion clearly.
task achievement
Your essay presents the necessary viewpoints and includes some relevant examples, which is good for supporting your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You attempt to balance the essay by discussing both sides, fulfilling the basic requirements of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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