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The increasing use of smartphones in education is helping students access more information. However,it can also be a source of distraction. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of smartphones in education.

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The ongoing discourse concerning the
rising
Replace the word
rise
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 of
smartphones
Use synonyms
 in Education is improve learning or
distracts
Correct subject-verb agreement
distract
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students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 attention has sparked
fervant
Correct your spelling
fervent
 debates.
While
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 both viewpoints present valid
arguments
Use synonyms
, I am to delve into each perspective in detail, ultimately aligning with the former position as the more compelling stance. On the
on
Correct your spelling
one
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 hand, supporters of using
smartphones
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 during the lessons present strong
arguments
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 backed by convincing evidence. One notable point is that using
of
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apply
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gadgets allows for a deeper understanding and mastery of many fields. To illustrate, many of the
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
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 are
as
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apply
show examples
genius
Add an article
a genius
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 in many developed countries, since allowed using of
smartphones
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 in education.
For instance
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so
Correct word choice
apply
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people claim that 97
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of Chinese,
93percent
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and 93percent
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 of Japanese as ingenious.
This
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 clearly demonstrates the significance of
this
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 perspective.
Additionally
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, another key point to consider is that specialization can lead to becoming an expert in any
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
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, which is highly valued in many professional fields.
For example
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 Jacob English,
Azam
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Azam's
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 Teacher
dedication
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was dedicated
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 to the study of many languages by
phone
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 and earned approximately
her
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apply
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5 international certificates and
immens
Correct your spelling
immense
 respect in the scientific community.
This
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further
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 strengthens the case for specialization, highlighting its importance, especially for those aiming for excellence in their careers.
Conversely
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, proponents of
phone
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 distraction have their own strong
arguments
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 worth considering. They fervently argue that it can increase illiterate in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies by
distract
Wrong verb form
distracting
show examples
 students.
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 the Indian
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
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addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
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 to playing video games
such
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 as Pubg and Freefire
instead
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 of lessons.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
result
Add a comma
result,
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 their societies have been
regarding
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regarded
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 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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undeveloped and ignorant.
This
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 highlights the importance of the alternative angel in
this
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 discussion.
Also
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 noteworthy is the fact that talking with others in love by
phone
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 during the lesson. It is the main obstacle for youngsters
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are studying. To exemplify, 70 per cent of the
uzbek
Change the capitalization
Uzbek
show examples
youngs
Correct your spelling
youth
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 cannot achieve
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 future
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
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by
Change preposition
of
show examples
phone
Use synonyms
distract
Replace the word
distraction
show examples
 and especially love.
This
Linking Words
 illustration adds
further
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 value to
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 standpoint, making it
compelling
Correct article usage
a compelling
show examples
 view to consider.
To conclude
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,
while
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 both standpoints present compelling
arguments
Use synonyms
, I personally contend that the earlier belief emerges as the more robust perspective in
this
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 debate. Using
smartphones
Use synonyms
 in education allows for developing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 knowledge in societies.

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction to clearly reflect the position you will be supporting throughout the essay. Currently, the position is not clear.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread and edit your essay to eliminate small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This will enhance readability and comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and ideas to ensure a smoother flow of information. Use cohesive devices like 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' and 'in addition' to link ideas.
task achievement
Make sure examples are precise and effectively support your main points. The provided examples seemed somewhat vague and not entirely relevant to the arguments being made.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which contributes to coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You successfully discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of smartphone use in education, showing an understanding of multiple perspectives.
task achievement
The essay attempts to use specific examples to support claims, which is a good practice in providing evidence and strengthening arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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