In some countries, young people often decide to work or travel for a time before they start their university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of doing this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

I think that the advantages
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
working or travelling before starting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
studies. And here are my reasons.
Firstly
, for the advantages, students just
finish
Wrong verb form
finished
show examples
their
university
entrance exams
such
as GAOKAO, and travelling is a good way to relax and
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
show examples
some
time
with their friends or parents. For them,
university
is a new beginning and a new change, so they need to fresh themselves from travelling.
And working
Correct word choice
Working
show examples
is
also
a good method for young people
learning
Change the verb form
to learn
show examples
and
seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
more things they haven't seen, and they can develop some skills which is
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
for them to prepare for
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
university
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
for their future
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. But on the opposites, there are
also
some disadvantages. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
, it may take some money which may be a burden for
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
or
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
show examples
some
time
which can
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
on reading books for
preparing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
university
course. Actually, I had spent some
time
to travel
Change the verb form
travelling
show examples
with my family before I started my
university
studies. And I think it's really deserved. I had a good rest from that. And for me, I need to study in
other city
Change the wording
another city
other cities
show examples
which is far from my home. So travelling with my family is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to build our relationship. So I support young people to work or travel for a
time
before their
university
studies.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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introduction conclusion present
Try to refine your introduction to clearly state the topic and your perspective. Clarify that you're discussing both advantages and disadvantages before presenting your opinion.
logical structure
Work on more logical transitions between points. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
supported main points
Use more detailed examples to support your points, and consider balancing your arguments by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in more depth.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to elaborate on your ideas in more detail to make them clearer and more comprehensive. Explain why certain points are significant.
logical structure
You have a clear structure with paragraphs dedicated to both advantages and disadvantages.
relevant specific examples
Your personal experience adds a nice touch and makes the essay more engaging.
complete response
You clearly express your opinion which is important for the task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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