4. Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities, while others believe that it is beter to have students with different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

In the contemporary world, there are a few
of
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apply
show examples
people thinking schools should select
students
according to
their academic
skills
,
while
others believe it is
beter
Correct your spelling
better
to have
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of
student
abilities in the same classes. I truly agree that it should provide
students
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
skills
than
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as
show examples
in a wide range of
skills
.
This
essay will reveal both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
of
this
statement on my standpoint in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, there are some aspects of having many abilities studying together. One of the main reasons is
relaxing
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relaxation
show examples
.
This
would mean that why the
children
have a wide range of academic
skills
, teacher will teach them
in
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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average
of
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apply
show examples
academic lessons, which
does
Verb problem
apply
show examples
push them
in
Change preposition
under
show examples
pressure.
For example
, in English
class
,
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
will teach all the
student
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students
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
a
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simple lesson, with no doubt the
student
will
be really enjoy
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really enjoy
show examples
the
class
.
Moreover
, the
children
could help each other. As can be seen
that
Correct word choice
apply
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when the
students
with many talents
study
in the room, they will guide their friends with the topic they
good
Add a missing verb
are good
show examples
with.
Thus
,
this
kind of
class
will provide
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
positive environment with feelings and actions.
On the other hand
, despite its detrimental impact, there are several reasons why selecting
students
with the same academic
skills
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
important.
Firstly
,
this
could improve the talent
students
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of students
show examples
.
This
is because when the
student
with the same talents
study
in the same room, they will gain more
their
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apply
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knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
For instance
, the
mathematics gifted
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mathematics-gifted
show examples
children
would learn the
advance
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advanced
show examples
lesson,
which
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in which
show examples
their mathematics will
be upgrade
Change the verb form
be upgraded
be upgrading
show examples
from normal, or they will have
Correct article usage
the possibilites
show examples
possibilites
Correct your spelling
possibility
possibilities
to learn for the next step from the standard lessons.
Secondly
, most of the
children
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have the same level of the academic
ofen
Correct your spelling
often
have the same interest.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
who
good
Add a missing verb
are good
show examples
at music, most of them
Correct your spelling
often
ofen
Correct your spelling
often
chooses
Correct subject-verb agreement
choose
show examples
to
study
at music
class
than the other
class
.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interested
Replace the word
interest
show examples
in the same would lead to benefits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
students
To put it simply, as aforementioned above,
while
it is true to say that a wide range of
student
skills
will provide the
student
be more relax
while
they
study
, in fact, I personally view that with the same
Correct your spelling
abilities
abilites
Add a comma
abilites,
show examples
it will improve the
studentskills
Correct your spelling
student skills
, and
also
it will provide the interest lesson to the
students
.
Submitted by jubjangjuda on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides your own opinion, which is good. However, make sure to elaborate more on your arguments to make them more convincing.
language
There are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases in your essay. Be mindful of grammar and spelling errors. For example, 'beter' should be 'better' and 'study at music class' should be 'study in a music class'.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve coherence.
task achievement
Please work on providing more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, which can help strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential parts of a well-structured essay.
task achievement
Your essay discusses both views, presenting both sides of the argument. This is a good practice to show your balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The intention behind your arguments is clear, and you have a logical flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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