IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #consumers #supermarket #food #world #development
The availability of
food
products
 from around the world in supermarkets has become a common feature in many countries.
While
 some people may argue that
this
 is a negative development
due to
 its impact on local economies and the environment, I believe it is largely a positive trend for several reasons. First of all, consumers benefit from greater variety and convenience. Being able to purchase
food
 from different parts of the globe allows people to enjoy exotic or out-of-season
products
, which would
otherwise
 be inaccessible.
For example
, in Uzbekistan, we can find fruits
such
 as mangoes or avocados, which are not native to our region but are now widely available
due to
 global trade.
This
 access not only enhances our culinary experiences but
also
 enables people with diverse cultural backgrounds to feel more connected to their heritage.
In addition
, global
food
 availability promotes competition among producers, which can lead to better quality and lower prices. When local producers must compete with international companies, they are often driven to improve their standards in order to attract customers.
This
 competitive market can benefit consumers by offering more choices at affordable prices, which may not be possible if only local
food
products
 were sold. In conclusion,
while
 the global availability of
food
products
 poses certain challenges, I believe the
overall
 impact is positive. The variety and lower prices it gives to shoppers are more important than the environmental and economic concerns, as long as we try to solve these problems with better practices.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While you have provided a comprehensive response, consider elaborating just a bit more on your points to add depth. For instance, you briefly mention environmental concerns but do not expand on them. A bit more detail would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is very well-organized, and the logical structure is clear. However, ensure your paragraphs are a bit more balanced in length. The second paragraph feels slightly shorter compared to the first one.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is very well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion, enhancing coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as mentioning the availability of mangoes or avocados in Uzbekistan, greatly strengthens your argument and makes your points more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays: