Some people believe that advertising has a strong effect on a person’s decision-making process. Others feel that it has little or no real impact. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

It is often held that advertising
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a significant impact
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
influencing
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
to purchase items.
While
some
people
argue that advertising
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
predominant in persuading
people
to buy the products, others have
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
an opinion
show examples
that other
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
show examples
will be more effective.
This
essay will discuss both these points of view and give my personal opinion about the issue. On the one hand,
advertisement
may have a passable impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
's intention to purchase, yet it would not produce magnificent results.
Advertisement
is mainly used as an approach to increase brand awareness. But, nowadays,
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to ignore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
. To illustrate,
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
usually change the TV channel when the program breaks and the
advertisement
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
show examples
, or
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
users
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to skip the
advertisement
after the "skip the ads" button comes, or even
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
always focus on driving so that they do not really pay attention to billboards. From
this
point of view, customers are not influenced to buy something by focusing merely on advertising.
On the other hand
, the quality of
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
and
people
's
review
Fix the agreement mistake
reviews
show examples
are more influential rather than
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
.
Product
quality and
customer's
Change noun form
customer
show examples
review
Fix the agreement mistake
reviews
show examples
are some of the integral
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
persuading potential
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
.
For instance
, if the prospective
customer
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to buy
an electronic devices
Correct the article-noun agreement
electronic devices
an electronic device
show examples
,
instead
of paying attention
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
advertisement
Correct article usage
the advertisement
show examples
first,
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are more likely to search for the features and find the
product
reviews on
marketplace
Add an article
the marketplace
a marketplace
show examples
or social media. It is because customers need honest
review
Fix the agreement mistake
reviews
show examples
from
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
who previously bought,
instead
of trusting the key opinion leaders (KOLs)
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
paid to promote the brand. In conclusion, advertising can influence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
's intention to buy.
However
, I believe that
product
quality and reviews are the two factors that have a greater impact on successfully persuading customers to purchase the
product
.
Submitted by azkaalazkiya97 on

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Task Achievement
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, you should further elaborate on your ideas with more detailed examples to make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to ensure that every paragraph transitions smoothly into the next one. The essay's flow can be improved with better connecting phrases.
Coherence and Cohesion
You need to correct the grammatical errors and work on sentence structures to make your arguments clearer. Incorrect word forms, such as 'peoples' instead of 'people', should be avoided.
Task Achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, fulfilling the requirement of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and provide a clear overview of the essay's main ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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