In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?
In some parts of the world, some junk
food
owners try to promote their products
among scholars by providing financial support to the school
. I personally believe that this
action is likely to have more negative effects on pupils' development.
First and foremost, fast food
products
are not healthy enough to be consumed by children
. As ready meals are kind
of ultra-processed Correct article usage
a kind
food
, it leads to poor quality
of health
for children
's body
. The ultra-processed Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
food
consists of high
Add an article
the high
a high
amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
sodiums
and fats which Fix the agreement mistake
sodium
evolves
more complex brain problems in the future. Verb problem
will cause
For example
, in Jakarta, the number of fast food
restaurants rapidly increases around the school
areas which makes the school
children
consume more fast meal products
. Studies showed that the number of children
obesity
grows Fix the agreement mistake
who are obese
as well as
the consentration
level of Correct your spelling
concentration
children
when they study in the
class. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, it can be said that promoting junk food
products
in a school
will reduce quality
of pupils' Add an article
the quality
health
as well as
their learning focus.
Secondly
, the school
needs to provide a good quality
of consumption and it should not affiliate to any company that will harm the children
's future health
. A good quality
of food
is basically a
real Correct article usage
apply
food
that served
without any toxic chemical seasoning. By providing Add a missing verb
is served
this
kind of consumption, the school
helps the children
to receive adequate vitamins and energy, thus
, they can have their best performance during the class. For example
, a school
in Bandung supplies full of
nutrient menus, regulated by the Change preposition
apply
healthy
minister of Indonesia, differently each day. Replace the word
health
As a result
, the fast food
companies are not able to ask the school
to promote their products
.
In conclusion, the school
needs to take care more on
their Change preposition
of
children
Change noun form
children's
health
by not accepting cooperation from junk food
companies. Advertising fast food
meals in a school
have
more Verb problem
is
disadvantage
effect Replace the word
disadvantageous
particulary
in terms of Correct your spelling
particularly
health
Correct article usage
the health
quality
of the scholars.Submitted by chocolate10
on
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task achievement
Ensure all arguments are fully developed and supported by specific details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions for better logical flow.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary range to make the essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping frame the discussion well.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the case in Jakarta and Bandung, adds relevance and strengthens the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, giving it a balanced perspective.
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