Some children spend a long time each day on their smartphone. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#children #time #smartphone #development

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Some juveniles spend a long

time

Use synonyms

each day on their mobile phones.

This

Linking Words

is because video streaming apps are so engaging, but

this

Linking Words

can have negative consequences because they can

disract

Correct your spelling

distract

detract

from family life. Minors love using

mobiles

Change the noun form

mobile

show examples

devices because streaming services have many entertaining videos.

This

Linking Words

means they have endless

opprtunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

to enjoy themselves, and they can spend their entire day consuming new shows without thinking.

For example

Linking Words

, many videos on Netflix are aimed at children, some of which design their

title

Fix the agreement mistake

titles

show examples

and thumbnails to

entire

Correct your spelling

entice

show examples

children to

clich

Correct your spelling

click

on one more video.

As a result

Linking Words

, they spend their free

time

Use synonyms

in front of a screen

instead

Linking Words

of being outside doing physical activities,

such

Linking Words

as bike riding or playing sports. Despite them being highly enjoyable for the child,

this

Linking Words

essay believes they should be

views

Wrong verb form

viewed

show examples

negatively because of the impact it has on

time

Use synonyms

with parents and siblings. Being around one's nuclear family teaches children many important things,

such

Linking Words

as values, manners, and how to treat others. If a child misses these opportunities, they could grow up to have impaired social skills and take their values from Youtubers rather than their mother and father.

For instance

Linking Words

, one of the most popular personalities on

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

is Logan Paul, who is

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

show examples

for promoting drug use, gambling and violence. In conclusion, videos on mobiles may be

irresistable

Correct your spelling

irresistible

to those under 18.

However

Linking Words

, parents should restrict screen

time

Use synonyms

mush

Correct your spelling

much

show examples

as possible to limit

harmful

Correct article usage

the harmful

show examples

effects influencers can have on their son's or daughter's upbringing.

Submitted by sunnyjt62 on Sat Sep 21 2024

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task achievement

While the essay provides a clear response to the task with reasonable arguments, it would benefit from a clearer definition and differentiation of positive and negative consequences. Try elaborating on these points with more detailed examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

There are a few grammatical errors and typos (e.g., 'opprtunities', 'mush', 'entire' instead of 'entice') that should be corrected for a more polished presentation.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.

task achievement

You have managed to present a balanced viewpoint by acknowledging the engaging nature of mobile content and still emphasizing the negative effects.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

254 words

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Some children spend a long time each day on their smartphone. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contributions to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us longer pay attention to it.to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.