Countries with a long average working time are more economically successfull than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extend you agree or disagree?
It is argued that countries with a longer average working time are more economically successful than countries with shorter working times.
This
essay wholeheartedly disagrees with this
assertion due to
the justifications and illustrations given below.
The first reason why working long hours on an
average cannot help to boost a country's Correct article usage
apply
economic
is because work-related health problems may lead to Replace the word
economy
a
low productivity. Remove the article
apply
That is
to say that working over time
day by day is one of the primary causes of mental health issues. In a corporation or a company, employees do not work Correct your spelling
overtime
on
their best if their ritual life is not satisfied, handling Change preposition
at
with
tasks overnight or working on the weekends may result in detrimental health issues in the long run. In Vietnam, the percentage of young employees quitting their jobs from corporations is increasingly high as they suffer too much from running deadlines or working overtime. That an individual's well-being and job satisfaction Change preposition
apply
is
reduced may lead to negative impacts on a Correct subject-verb agreement
are
nation
's productivity and economic output.
Another thing is the duration of working hours is not merely a major contribution to an economically successful country but that depends on many other factors such
as education
. Investing in education
is a wise choice when children are a nation
's masters. Providing efficient schooling is very crucial for long-term economic growth as education
is always a priority in developed countries. For example
, in Japan, pre-school
Correct your spelling
preschool
education
plays an important role in the nation
's strategies and Japan proves to
always Verb problem
apply
have
a high GDP per year.
In conclusion, working long hours is not always a viable solution to a Correct subject-verb agreement
has
nation
's economic growth, but balancing work and life and investing in education
are contributing factors to a nation
's economic success.Submitted by kelsey.aston.aie on
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coherence cohesion
To improve clarity, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences relate to that main idea. This will help create a more logical structure.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments by providing more detailed and specific examples. This will help to better illustrate and support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the overall flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You clearly present your opinion in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay, providing a structured response.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and provides a clear final perspective on the topic.
task achievement
The points you make are relevant to the task and are logically supported, contributing to a cohesive argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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