The money spend by the governments on space programmes would be better pent on public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The income
that is
Linking Words
spending
by Replace the word
spent
government
on space programmes would be better Correct article usage
the government
spend
on public services Replace the word
spent
such
as Linking Words
schools
and Use synonyms
hospitals
. I totally agree with Use synonyms
this
statement because there are not sufficient Linking Words
hospitals
to cover sick Use synonyms
people
, and many Use synonyms
schools
Use synonyms
have
not enough Add a missing verb
do have
computers
to teach Use synonyms
children
.
I strongly believe that Use synonyms
government
should Correct article usage
the government
spent
Change the verb form
spend
money
on Use synonyms
hospitals
because there is not enough medical attention for sick Use synonyms
people
when they look out there for help. Use synonyms
Besides
Linking Words
this
, if they go to Linking Words
emergency
room, it is frequent that they do not have enough equipment to make a medical Add an article
the emergency
an emergency
diagnose
, so Replace the word
diagnosis
people
have to go back home without treatment. Use synonyms
This
is Linking Words
to
say the least, Add the comma(s)
, to
sometime
individuals have to wait for two months to find an appointment and Replace the word
sometimes
finally
see a doctor, and many of them choose to go to Linking Words
emergency
room but they end up not having good treatment because Add an article
the emergency
pharmacy
service is closed on weekends or Correct article usage
the pharmacy
midnight
. To illustrate Change preposition
at midnight
this
, in The United States, California, it is common to hear Linking Words
people
complaining about not having medical insurance that Use synonyms
cover
their necessities, so many Change the verb form
covers
people
travel to Mexico, Tijuana, to seek medical attention.
Another thing is that Use synonyms
children
need better Use synonyms
Use synonyms
schools'
equipment Change noun form
schools
such
as Linking Words
computers
and keyboards to be taught in classrooms because many of these Use synonyms
schools
have Use synonyms
not
materials at all. More importantly, many students have no Correct your spelling
no
computers
at home, so they have to travel to local Use synonyms
libraries
to borrow a computer, so Use synonyms
this
implies Linking Words
to spend
time and Change the verb form
spending
money
for them. Use synonyms
Worse
Correct word choice
The worst
scenery
is that if homework is for the weekend, they will have no Replace the word
scenario
chances
to complete homework because Fix the agreement mistake
chance
libraries
are Use synonyms
close
on weekends. Replace the word
closed
Lastly
, if they are lucky enough to find one library open, they might wait for one or two hours to find an available computer. To explain Linking Words
this
, in Anaheim, Linking Words
libraries
do not open on weekends, so many Use synonyms
children
usually do not complete homework by Monday because they have no Use synonyms
computers
at home. Use synonyms
As a result
, students' grades are presented as Linking Words
a
low Correct article usage
apply
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
at the end
of the year.
In conclusion, Linking Words
government
should spend Add an article
the government
money
on Use synonyms
hospitals
and Use synonyms
libraries
because there are not enough services to cover sick Use synonyms
people
and help Use synonyms
children
to improve their knowledge. Use synonyms
As a result
, I strongly agree with Linking Words
this
statement because Linking Words
money
will be well spent on Use synonyms
individual's
necessities rather than space programmes.Change noun form
individual
Submitted by cuevas14dic on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay clearly states your position and provides relevant examples, the structure and flow could be more refined. Consider organizing your ideas with clearer topic sentences and transition phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor grammatical mistakes and vocabulary usage. Aim for more precise and varied language to express your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly presenting your position on the topic.
task achievement
Your essay provides clear and comprehensive main ideas supported by relevant examples, especially in the paragraphs discussing healthcare and education.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.