Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
Students
are prompted to learn art
and music
in middle school
. I agree to
Change preposition
with
this
statement because it can bring many merits. The benefit of taking those classes are students
able to develop their creativity
, find their passion, and let them reduce their stress.
Teenagers in school
can develop their creativity
by implementation
Replace the word
implementing
of
Change preposition
apply
this
rules. Creating Correct determiner usage
these
art
could help students
to creatively think what
and how they draw on their medium. The subject colored and shaped by different elements can Change preposition
about what
reflects
their Change the verb form
reflect
creativity
and can be look
amusing. Playing various Verb problem
apply
music
also
can led
to Change the verb form
lead
be led
establish
their own lyrics and rhythm. Change the verb form
establishing
Creativity
is being practice
and Wrong verb form
practised
benefit
to their future Replace the word
beneficial
carrier
or as Correct your spelling
career
an
hobby. Change the article
a
For example
, my friend in midst
Replace the word
middle
school
extremely
good at Add a missing verb
is extremely
art
, she makes an abstract
Correct the article-noun agreement
abstract subjects
an abstract subject
subjects
with unique elements. This
is because she always have
progress in Change the verb form
has
art
and being
robust in class.
Despite enhancing Wrong verb form
is
creativity
, learning art
and music
also
led them to find their pathway in passion. By practicing
in those Change the spelling
practising
subjects
, they can realize that it is enjoyable and therefore
continue it at home and even in university. For instance
, friend
of mine at that grade really Add an article
a friend
done
a good job in Wrong verb form
did
art
, so she entered art
related
major at university.
Other Correct your spelling
art-related
that
that, stress can be reduced by making Correct word choice
than
art
and music
. This emotional aspects
can Change the determiner
This emotional aspect
These emotional aspects
be lessen
by getting away from complicated Change the verb form
be lessened
subjects
in school
. Other school
material
often Fix the agreement mistake
materials
faced
bad judgments by Wrong verb form
face
students
because of their complexities. So by
changing the Change preposition
apply
subjects
can give children some space to rest and led
to Wrong verb form
lead
reduce
relief. Wrong verb form
reduced
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
tend
understand Add the particle
tend to
this aspects
, so they usually arrange these two Change the determiner
this aspect
these aspects
type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
subjects
closely. For example
, in middle school
, my teacher scheduled our subjects
our art
and math subjects
closely. That time, we really feel refreshed after the intense learning of math.
In conclusion, rules that prompted middle school
students
to uptake
both Verb problem
take
art
and music
class
can bring many benefits. Fix the agreement mistake
classes
Students
can enhance their creativities
, find their way to their passion, and Replace the word
creativity
reduced
their Wrong verb form
reduce
emosional
breakdown. In the future, I continue to support these rules so that children are more comfortable and happy with their Correct your spelling
emotional
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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coherence cohesion
To improve, focus on enhancing the clarity of your ideas and organize your paragraphs more logically. Avoid repetition of points and provide clear, specific examples to support your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammar, sentence structure, and vocabulary usage to eliminate errors. This will help in making the essay more polished and comprehensible.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the arguments.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support the points made, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite