IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart bellow shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

The bar chart bellow shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
The following bar chart illustrates the countries that consumed and produced the most amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in 2014. At first glance, it is evident that the first two countries, China and USA, used and generated
electricity
Use synonyms
 significantly, compared to the other eight remaining countries. Another interesting point is that Germany was the only country that produced power less than its annual usage. Looking at the details, China, which was pioneering in both
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 and usage of
electricity
Use synonyms
, produced 5,398
billion
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 kW and used 5,322
billion
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 kW per hour. The US stood in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place with 4,099
billion
Use synonyms
 kWh generation and 3,866 consumption of power. Russia, Japan and India generated and used
electricity
Use synonyms
 moderately, followed by Canada, France and Brazil, which had a
fewer
Correct word choice
lower
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 production and usage.
Although
Linking Words
 Germany used power not quite as much as India, it produced energy almost as much as Brazil, which means that Germans consumed more energy rather than producing it.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Korea was at the bottom of the list
with
Change preposition
apply
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only generating 485,1
billion
Use synonyms
 kWh and using 449,5
billion
Use synonyms
 kWh.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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