Some people think that paretnts should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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All the
people
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should be a good person to enhance our
society
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. Some
people
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argue that
parents
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should teach
children
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to be good members of
society
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,
while
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others say that schools should teach
this
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.
This
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essay intends to delve into both perspectives. I,
however
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, side with the former view. On the one hand, despite to above argument, other
people
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and I choose to believe that
parents
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should teach
children
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how to be kind members of
society
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for many reasons. First and foremost,
children
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listen every things immediately from their because they know how to deal with their
children
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more than others . A good interpretation of
this
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according to
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the research around 90% of
children
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prefer to listen to the rules of their
parents
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rather than
school
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.
Furthermore
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, babies are afraid of their
parents
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more than
school
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so they can learn quickly from their
parents
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. On the other side, there are some views showing that
school
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is the correct place to learn. In terms of
this
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view,
children
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would be able to learn many things from
school
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such
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as co-operating, obeying the rules and making new friends.
However
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, they might not be effective as a family. But teachers have to attempt to keep
children
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moving in a way that cause of being beneficial for
society
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. In conclusion,
parents
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at home and
also
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teachers at
school
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are in charge of helping
children
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to be useful
people
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.
Therefore
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, because it’s a remarkable issue for the future of a country, I recommend
parents
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and teachers should improve their knowledge and experiences

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task response
To improve the task response, ensure that you address the question comprehensively. Provide balanced coverage of both views and clear examples to support your arguments. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and improve the overall effectiveness of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Make sure each part of your essay connects smoothly to the next. This can be achieved through the use of more varied transitional words and phrases.
task response
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and states your opinion, which provides a good starting point for your essay.
cohesion and coherence
You have recognized different perspectives on the issue, which adds depth to your essay.
introduction and conclusion presence
The conclusion neatly wraps up your arguments, and reinforces the idea that both parents and schools have a role.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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