Some people think that paretnts should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

All the
people
should be a good person to enhance our
society
. Some
people
argue that
parents
should teach
children
to be good members of
society
,
while
others say that schools should teach
this
.
This
essay intends to delve into both perspectives. I,
however
, side with the former view. On the one hand, despite to above argument, other
people
and I choose to believe that
parents
should teach
children
how to be kind members of
society
for many reasons. First and foremost,
children
listen every things immediately from their because they know how to deal with their
children
more than others . A good interpretation of
this
according to
the research around 90% of
children
prefer to listen to the rules of their
parents
rather than
school
.
Furthermore
, babies are afraid of their
parents
more than
school
so they can learn quickly from their
parents
. On the other side, there are some views showing that
school
is the correct place to learn. In terms of
this
view,
children
would be able to learn many things from
school
such
as co-operating, obeying the rules and making new friends.
However
, they might not be effective as a family. But teachers have to attempt to keep
children
moving in a way that cause of being beneficial for
society
. In conclusion,
parents
at home and
also
teachers at
school
are in charge of helping
children
to be useful
people
.
Therefore
, because it’s a remarkable issue for the future of a country, I recommend
parents
and teachers should improve their knowledge and experiences
Submitted by maha.wed on

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task response
To improve the task response, ensure that you address the question comprehensively. Provide balanced coverage of both views and clear examples to support your arguments. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and improve the overall effectiveness of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Make sure each part of your essay connects smoothly to the next. This can be achieved through the use of more varied transitional words and phrases.
task response
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and states your opinion, which provides a good starting point for your essay.
cohesion and coherence
You have recognized different perspectives on the issue, which adds depth to your essay.
introduction and conclusion presence
The conclusion neatly wraps up your arguments, and reinforces the idea that both parents and schools have a role.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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