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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exerciseand avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country?

#person #someone #diet #plenty #exerciseand #stress #people #country
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These days people are becoming more concerned with remaining healthy and avoiding illness. There are several ways people stay healthy in my country, Australia. The key aspects are diet, exercise and rest, and stress reduction. Most Australians understand that it is necessary to eat well and eat regularly. Having three good meals a day and actually taking time to eat properly is
imporlant
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important
.
This
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 means trying to have a balanced diet of protein (fish, meat or eggs) and vegetables and fruit, for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It is sometimes difficult to find time to exercise every day, but if we can manage to do some physical exercise a few days a week,
then
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 we will feel better for it. We will
also
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 sleep more soundly and peacefully. Australians enjoy outdoor sports, swimming and cricket in summer, and football in winter. Many Australians relax by walking or even, these days, practising yoga. Relaxing helps us to remain calm and reduce stress. The best way of reducing stress,
however
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, is to understand what is causing it. If we have too many things to do, it is best to make a list
,
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apply
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 and
then
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to
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apply
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organise what we have to do
according to
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 how important each item is. Taking control is the best way to lower anxiety levels. So, in Australia, with our wonderful climate and the availability
Correct your spelling
of
ol
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of
 good fresh food, it is not difficult to stay healthy. By taking control of our lives
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and planning
andplanning
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and planning
, we will all feel less
stresse
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stressed
stress
Submitted by carolwan18 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on expanding the introduction and adding a clear conclusion to provide a more cohesive structure. This will help frame your arguments better.
task achievement
Ensure all points are clearly distinct and elaborately detailed. Avoid repetition and aim for more depth in the discussion of each key aspect such as diet, exercise, and stress reduction.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples of how Australians maintain their health, such as through diet, outdoor sports, and stress reduction techniques.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logical and flows well, and the main points are supported effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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