A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exerciseand avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country?

These days people are becoming more concerned with remaining healthy and avoiding illness. There are several ways people stay healthy in my country, Australia. The key aspects are diet, exercise and rest, and stress reduction. Most Australians understand that it is necessary to eat well and eat regularly. Having three good meals a day and actually taking time to eat properly is
imporlant
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important
.
This
means trying to have a balanced diet of protein (fish, meat or eggs) and vegetables and fruit, for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It is sometimes difficult to find time to exercise every day, but if we can manage to do some physical exercise a few days a week,
then
we will feel better for it. We will
also
sleep more soundly and peacefully. Australians enjoy outdoor sports, swimming and cricket in summer, and football in winter. Many Australians relax by walking or even, these days, practising yoga. Relaxing helps us to remain calm and reduce stress. The best way of reducing stress,
however
, is to understand what is causing it. If we have too many things to do, it is best to make a list
,
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apply
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and
then
to
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apply
show examples
organise what we have to do
according to
how important each item is. Taking control is the best way to lower anxiety levels. So, in Australia, with our wonderful climate and the availability
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of
ol
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of
good fresh food, it is not difficult to stay healthy. By taking control of our lives
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and planning
andplanning
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and planning
, we will all feel less
stresse
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stressed
stress
Submitted by carolwan18 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on expanding the introduction and adding a clear conclusion to provide a more cohesive structure. This will help frame your arguments better.
task achievement
Ensure all points are clearly distinct and elaborately detailed. Avoid repetition and aim for more depth in the discussion of each key aspect such as diet, exercise, and stress reduction.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples of how Australians maintain their health, such as through diet, outdoor sports, and stress reduction techniques.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logical and flows well, and the main points are supported effectively.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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