Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Recently a big part of the population suffering from health issues has been choosing to find unusual ways to solve them rather than conventional medicine.

Consequently

Linking Words

, a large number of patients are dying because of

this

Linking Words

Firstly

Linking Words

, one of the main problems is the spreading of misinformation through the population.

This

Linking Words

is mainly happening because of the internet, especially social media, where people do the impossible in order to get some shares.

For example

Linking Words

, in a little town in Italy, a person has started posting on Facebook how he could cure cancer,

as a result

Linking Words

, few individuals wanted to be saved from him.

However

Linking Words

, what they did not know, was that the drug he was giving them contained aluminium, a toxic compound which, in the worst-case scenario can cause medullary aplasia leading to death within weeks.

Hence

Linking Words

, five of them died and four had irreversible damage to their kidneys and brain.

Secondly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

issue is

also

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that usually doctors may have a lack of skills in communication,

thus

Linking Words

, some patients find them unreliable and decide to choose a different way to get better.

According to

Linking Words

researchers from Oxford's university, sick people assisted by physicians who create a bond with them, are less likely to get alternative assistance.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if

this

Linking Words

not

Add a missing verb

does not

show examples

happen, the sufferer might choose a different path, which leads them to even more harm and pain. In conclusion, I strongly believe

this

Linking Words

development is bad for the society.

In addition

Linking Words

, I believe administrations should take action in order to end it as soon as possible,

for instance

Linking Words

, governments should severely punish whoever practises alternative medicine.

alessandro.taleseFri Nov 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay clearly addresses the task by providing a stance on the issue, arguing that the rise in alternative medicine use is a negative development. Make sure to consistently link the examples back to your main argument, enhancing coherence.

coherence cohesion

While the paragraphs are logically structured and the main ideas are supported, transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve overall flow. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, serving to effectively frame and summarize the argument.

task achievement

You have included specific examples to support your points, such as the story of the unfortunate incident in Italy, which helps to illustrate the dangers of alternative medicine practice.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them?
Animals are a crucial part of nature that brings many benefits to the ecosystem. They have lived in the wild longer than humans have, and they still continue to do so outside of the few domesticated ones. However, as time goes on, more and more species face the risk of extinction. Therefore, this essay will delve into the various reasons why this may occur as well as the methods that can be used to protect them.
5.5
band
People work because they need money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above opinion? What are some other reasons that people work?
It is often believed that money is the main reason why people do jobs or establish own business. In my opinion, I agree that money is necessary for a comfortable life and there are two other factors that motivate some to work regularly.
6
band
Some people think that children are having to much free time and this time should be use to study more. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Certain people believe that children have a lot of idle time and that this time is utilized for the study. In my opinion, I partially agree with the statement, however, not only should they study during these times but also be encouraged to engage in other educational games.
6.5
band
Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarket rather than small shops or local markets? Is this positive or negative for development? Discuss and give your opinion.
There is quite an obvious discussion around the topic of shopping. While some people believe that mega-stores are unnecessary for people who want to buy any goods, I would argue that this trend has more benefits and comfortable for consumers. I will explain my reasons in this essay.
4
band
Many developed counties now have large numbers of people over the age 65 . What problems might this cause ? . How can the problems be solved
Ageing population is one of the crucial and inevitable isuue in our world. Most of developed countries’ rate of individuals who are older than 65 has been increasing recently. This pattern may lead to several drawbacks like an economical burden on the countries’ budged and difficulties for finding work labor for business. This essay will explain these problems and will recommend some solutions like arrenging immigration policy and implementing laws in order to mend insurance systems.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them?

People work because they need money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above opinion? What are some other reasons that people work?

Some people think that children are having to much free time and this time should be use to study more. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarket rather than small shops or local markets? Is this positive or negative for development? Discuss and give your opinion.

Many developed counties now have large numbers of people over the age 65 . What problems might this cause ? . How can the problems be solved