IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university to or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages?

#students #gap #year #school #university #travel #outweight
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some countries
for example
 Saudi Arabia taking a
gap
year
 will lower your chances of getting into a university, so in Saudi
due to
 their system, it is better to not take a
year
 off, to increase your chances of getting into a university. In most countries, it does not matter when you apply as long as you have your high school degree,
for example
 on the US most colleges do not look for the graduation date, all they care about is the degree, so if you are planning on studying in the US you can take a
gap
year
 and don't worry about losing a seat because of taking a
gap
year
. In my opinion, taking a
gap
year
 is so important after 12 years of school you
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
finally
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 some free time you
finally
 get the chance to experience the world, you get to travel and have a lot of fun with family and friends, and you get to know a lot of different cultures and learn about people is habits, I think most people should use the
gap
year
 to travel all around the world,
in addition
, to learn more and more about the world,
although
 your friends will be 1
year
 ahead of you, the fun things you get to do is always worth it. But if you will not use the
gap
year
 to do all the stuff you wanted to do when you had no time, I don't think you should take a
gap
year
 just to sit at home and do nothing,
although
 some people would love to take a break and chill
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
that does not mean you should spend all
year
 sitting home doing nothing.
For example
, you can go to the beach once every two weeks
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
plan a hiking trip with friends, or camp in the woods for 3 days with no cell phones, and a lot of fun things to do, so if you use the
gap
year
 correctly I think you should take it.
Submitted by h9715823 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, be sure to strengthen the argument with additional specific examples and evidence. For example, cite statistics on gap-year students' success or stories from well-known individuals who benefited from taking a gap year.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, consider creating a clear introduction and a concluding paragraph. The introduction should briefly introduce the topic, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
task achievement
You have presented a variety of ideas and personal viewpoints, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a generally logical structure and progression of ideas, which helps the reader follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: