IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people want to buy clothes,car, and other products from well-known brand.Do you think it is a positive or negative development

-It Stricked me that the volume of foreign products in the Egyptian market is increasing day after another,
however
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, our economic situation is getting down to the dump, Most people nowadays are seeking brands in clothes, cars,
even
Correct word choice
and even
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 small accessories, and they get very cheerful with a small piece of
well-known
Add an article
a well-known
the well-known
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brand
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, honestly, I was one of those people but I switched off when I realized how
this
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 has a negative impact on our production planes ,even
although
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 sometimes I miss feeling to buy just one band accessory, rather more, in my opinion, the existence of
brand
Use synonyms
 in local
markets
Use synonyms
 may have
also
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 a good influence , now, I will reveal
the
Remove the article
apply
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both sides the positive and the negative things. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, being the
brand
Use synonyms
 in our local
markets
Use synonyms
 certainly will create Competitive conditions in our
markets
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,
therefore
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 our producers will try to reach the
brand
Use synonyms
's production level,
then
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 they will improve their
product
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,
not to mention
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 that will incentivization our industry to be equal with the foreign
product
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,ultimately , on the long term we will achieve great place in the global market.
On the other hand
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, keeping the brands in our local market could cause
also
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negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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impact
Change the noun form
impacts
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such
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 as nearly equivalent
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 between the local
product
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 and the
brand
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,
could
Correct pronoun usage
which could
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puzzled
Change the verb form
puzzle
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 the customer especially when the
brand
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 is
with
Change preposition
of
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 good quality, so the customer will prefer choosing the
brand
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instead
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 of the local
product
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 avoiding lose it after washing or under
another conditions
Replace the adjective
another condition
other conditions
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. Rather
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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, the competition will not be in our
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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, because not only the
price
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 is equivalent, but
also
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 the quality of the local
product
Use synonyms
 is incomparable with
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brand
Add an article
the brand
a brand
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.
Lastly
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, before we
thing
Correct your spelling
think
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 if the
brand
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 will
has
Change the verb form
have
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 a negative impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 our industry or not , we should figure out why people are searching for the
brand
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however
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 it is
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
Use synonyms
price
Change preposition
in price
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 ,
also
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 we should point out ,where is our industry among the global
markets
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 .
Finally
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, if you want to discover (Why
is
Correct article usage
a is
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Brand
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 different?) search for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality and a competitive
price
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,
thus
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, the customer will always look for brands even if
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 could threaten our industrial future unless they trust the local
product
Use synonyms
 . -

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logical structure
Try to enhance the logical flow of your ideas to make your essay easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
Consider refining your introduction and conclusion sections to be more concise and comprehensive.
supported main points
Develop your main points with more specific examples and clear arguments.
complete response
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and directly address the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
Be more clear in expressing your ideas while avoiding any ambiguity.
relevant specific examples
Support your arguments with more concrete and relevant examples to strengthen your points.
complete response
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both positive and negative aspects of the issue.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, ensuring a structured format.
supported main points
Some main points are well-supported, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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