IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people no longer read newspaper. They get news about the world through the Internet. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

#people #newspaper #news #world #internet #development
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In
this
 high-tech era,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 trend of reading
newspapers
 is declining day by day and people are inclined towards using the
internet
 for getting updates about the world. I believe that it has a positive impact as it reduces paper use and I think
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 is compatible with every individual. The
internet
 has made everyone's lives much easier. With the help of it, everyone can read,
listen
Correct word choice
and listen
show examples
 to
news
 about any part of the world.
Moreover
, for the blind,
newspapers
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 of no use as they could not read but, through
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
Internet
Add a comma
Internet,
show examples
 they could get updates on the globe whenever they wanted to listen by giving verbal instructions. Less usage of
newspapers
 has saved a lot of trees.
Also
, it helps to bring sustainability to our ecosystem. Over the
internet
,we can filter the
news
according to
 preferability and interest as it has a wide range of
news
 from all parts of the world like sports, crime development and many more. It
also
 saves a lot of money that people used to spend on
newspapers
.
To conclude
, there has been a huge shift from reading
newspapers
 to consuming
news
 online and it is a positive development as it helps to save
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Submitted by chadhabhavika on

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task achievement
Expand on how the shift from newspapers to the internet can have a broader impact on society. For example, how does it affect media businesses, journalism ethics, or accessibility in remote areas? More detailed analysis will improve your score.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to improve the logical structure by using clear topic sentences and transitional phrases in each paragraph. This will enhance the overall readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise. You've appropriately summarized your stance, which adds to the essay's clarity.
task achievement
The point about saving trees and fostering sustainability is relevant and impactful. Including specific examples like this strengthens your argument.
task achievement
You've successfully highlighted some advantages of using the internet for news consumption, showing a good grasp of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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