IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given chart presents the
number
Use synonyms
 of closed
shops
Use synonyms
 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of new
stores
Use synonyms
 that that launched in a single country in a span of 7 years from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the beginning, the new
stores
Use synonyms
 had the most
number
Use synonyms
 and it had a downward trend.
However
Linking Words
, the closed store was the least.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the end, the closed markets had the most significant
number
Use synonyms
 of all
stores
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
new
Change the word
newly
show examples
 opening
shops
Use synonyms
 deteriorated, becoming the least.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 2011, the new
shops
Use synonyms
 had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
stores
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, it had a downward trend which plummeted dramatically, scoring about 4000
stores
Use synonyms
. Following that, it had a slight increase, achieving nearly 6000
shops
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it had a
downtrendtrend
Correct your spelling
downtrend trend
 again and stood at 4000
stores
Use synonyms
. After that, it remained steady until 2017, scoring nearly 4000
shops
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, it dipped slightly, marking 3000
stores
Use synonyms
. Turning to the closed
stores
Use synonyms
, In the beginning, in 2011, it decreased slightly to around 6000
stores
Use synonyms
. The following year, there was an upward trend and increased to above 7000
shops
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it went down sharply until 2015, scoring nearly 1000
stores
Use synonyms
. After that, it increased sharply to 5000
stores
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 stayed static until the end of the period of study.
Submitted by seifhasseb222 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, stores with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: