The image you've shared appears to be a task from an IELTS writing section, requiring you to summarize the information presented in a chart about how families in a certain country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018.

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The given graph illustrates data on how the weekly revenue spent by families in a single country
1968
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in 1968
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and 2018.
Overall
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, in 1968, the most weekly salary was spent on food.
On the other hand
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, the least of it was spent on
fuel
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and
power
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. In 2018, people spent most of their money on leisure activities.
Furthermore
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, they spent the least of their cash on
fuel
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and
power
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. In 1968, the weekly income was spent the most on food at 35%. Following that, both housing and clothing shared the second
place
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at 10%.
After
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this
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, leisure activities arrived in third
place
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, scoring around 9% of weekly cash.
Moreover
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, both household goods and personal goods achieved just above 7%.
Finally
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,
fuel
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and
power
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were in the
last
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place
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at above 5% of weekly profit. In the
last
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year, leisure activities were the most thing that residents spent money on, marking around 23%.
In addition
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, both housing and food stood at 18% and 16% respectively. After that, families spent on transportation around 14% of their weekly returns.
Finally
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,
fuel
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and
power
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came in
last
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place
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at 4%.
Submitted by seifhasseb222 on

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task achievement
Ensure to paraphrase the task question completely to avoid repetition and make your introduction more engaging.
coherence and cohesion
Include a clear conclusion to summarize your findings and provide a rounded end to the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases to maintain reader’s interest throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers all the key points shown in the graph efficiently.
coherence and cohesion
The overall progression of the essay, from introduction to body, is logical, making it easy to follow.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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