Some people argue that sports and physical education should be mandatory parts of the school curriculum, while others believe they should remain optional. What are the potential benefits of making sports compulsory in schools, and do you agree with this idea? Explain your position and provide relevant examples.
Some people say that
sports
and physical Use synonyms
acitivity
should be Correct your spelling
activity
incoporated
Correct your spelling
incorporated
in
the Change preposition
into
school
curriculum, Use synonyms
Linking Words
however
there are others who prefer it to Add a comma
however,
be remain
as optional. There are many advantages Change the verb form
remain
from
including physical Change preposition
to
education
as Use synonyms
part
of Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
courses
, Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
students
about Use synonyms
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
work
and Use synonyms
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
students
to have physical activity to Use synonyms
be remain
healthy.
Change the verb form
remain
Incoporating
Correct your spelling
Incorporating
sports
in the Use synonyms
education
systems is Use synonyms
part
of Use synonyms
approach
to Add an article
the approach
an approach
teach
Change the verb form
teaching
students
about working in a group. Normally, Use synonyms
sports
were played among groups and Use synonyms
this
indirectly Linking Words
nurture
Change the verb form
nurtures
students
' ability to Use synonyms
work
together in a team. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
such
skills will complement Linking Words
students
when they enter Use synonyms
Add an article
the labor
labor
market and become an added value. Change the spelling
labour
For instance
, mostly in Linking Words
workplace
, the ability to Add an article
the workplace
work
in Use synonyms
group
is essential as they will Add an article
a group
the group
work
within a division, which comprises Use synonyms
of
several people, and Change preposition
apply
also
working interdivison or even intercompany. Linking Words
Thus
, Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
education
will cultivate Use synonyms
this
ability through Linking Words
education
.
Use synonyms
Additionally
, physical Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
students
to maintain their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
body
to Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
keep
healthy. Verb problem
stay
Students
who Use synonyms
already
accustomed to doing Add a missing verb
are already
sports
regularly will take Use synonyms
this
behavior regularly even outside of the Linking Words
school
's mandate. Regular physical exercise is important particularly when entering adulthood because the Use synonyms
body
is no longer as immune as when it was younger. Use synonyms
For example
, whenever someone regularly Linking Words
do
Change the verb form
does
sports
Use synonyms
then
later Linking Words
halt
the Correct subject-verb agreement
halts
acivity
, the Correct your spelling
activity
body
will give signals Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
sore
in several Replace the word
soreness
Use synonyms
part
of Change to a plural noun
parts
Use synonyms
body
. Add an article
the body
Thus
, Linking Words
incoporating
physical Correct your spelling
incorporating
education
Use synonyms
courses
would make Use synonyms
students
persistent in doing physical activity and subliminally will extend Use synonyms
this
as Linking Words
part
of their lifestyle.
In conclusion, I agree to include Use synonyms
sports
and physical activity to be one of Use synonyms
Use synonyms
school's
Add an article
the school's
courses
. The Use synonyms
students
can acquire skills that later will be beneficial in Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
in addition
the Linking Words
body
will remain fit. The benefit of including Use synonyms
sports
as Use synonyms
part
of Use synonyms
curriculum
will Add an article
the curriculum
last
longer than merely Linking Words
a
weekly Correct article usage
apply
courses
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the question and provides relevant points. However, you could improve the clarity and depth of your arguments, especially by providing more detailed examples and expanding on the potential drawbacks or counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider working on smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Pay attention to sentence structure to avoid fragmented thoughts and ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that need to be refined for better readability. For example, "incoporated" should be "incorporated," "health" should be "healthy," and "accustomed to doing sports" could be changed to "accustomed to regular physical activity."
task achievement
You effectively highlight essential benefits of including sports in the curriculum, such as teamwork and maintaining health.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-framed, providing a clear start and end to your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?