Many people use distance-learning program to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In nowadays
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Nowadays
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, many
university
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universities
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propose
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offer
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distance-learning
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a distance-learning
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program
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programs
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that
student
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students
show examples
can study at home, but from my standpoint, I agree
with
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that
show examples
distance-learning
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the distance-learning
show examples
program
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programs
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cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. Distance learning offers a flexible schedule that can accommodate working professionals and individuals with busy lives. It eliminates geographical barriers, allowing students from different parts of the world to access quality
education
without relocating. Online courses often cost less than traditional university programs, and they usually offer a wide range of resources that can be accessed at any time.
This
makes
education
more accessible to a larger population, including those who cannot afford the high costs associated with on-campus
education
.
Although
, those advantages
seens
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seem
like
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to
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solve the question
about
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of
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education
equality
of
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for
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different people ,
but
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apply
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it
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they
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also
bring some new disadvantages.
Teacher
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The teacher
A teacher
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is
Verb problem
makes
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hard to acknowledge
student
is forcusing or not, because of
theacher
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teacher
is challenging to lecture in class and
give
Verb problem
keep
show examples
a
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an
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eyes
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eye
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on
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a student
the student
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student
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students
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at
same
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the same
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time.
Moreover
,
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a student
the student
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student
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students
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who choose distance learning
maight
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might
not get
chance
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a chance
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to talk with
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a classmate
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classmate
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classmates
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but
also
get
less resource
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fewer resources
show examples
from campus,
for instance
,
face to face
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face-to-face
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learning can make
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a friend
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friend
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friends
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at
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in
show examples
same
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the same
show examples
class
also
you can easily
to
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apply
show examples
use
resource
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resources
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located
at
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on
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campus
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the campus
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such
as
library
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a library
the library
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, gym or
student
activity
center
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centre
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. In
conculsion
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conclusion
, there still are many challenges to overcome, but I think
the
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apply
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some disadvantages that I
metion
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mentioned
mention
earlier can sort out by small
change
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changes
show examples
,
for example
, whether
sudent
Correct your spelling
student
students
are
forcusing
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focusing
or not can just shrink down
class
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the class
show examples
size of
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a student
the student
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student
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students
show examples
, it might make
teacher
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the teacher
a teacher
show examples
more easily track each
student
's status. But there
still
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are still
show examples
some significant challenges probably never be resolved,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is why I agree distance-learning
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college.
Submitted by hibana2077 on

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task achievement
While the essay offers a clear stance, there's room for deeper exploration of the topic, such as more specific examples of both the benefits and disadvantages of distance learning.
coherence and cohesion
The essay structure is clear with an introduction, body, and conclusion but could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Carefully proofreading to catch minor grammatical and spelling errors (e.g., "university propose" should be "universities propose," "seens" should be "seem," etc.) will help improve readability.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the writer’s viewpoint, making it easy for the reader to understand the essay's argument.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the key points effectively and reiterates the author's stance.
task achievement
The essay touches on both advantages and disadvantages of distance learning, providing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Flexibility: the quality of being adaptable or variable.
  • - Convenience: the state of being able to do something easily with little effort and no trouble.
  • - Geographical barriers: physical or political boundaries that separate locations, making communication and travel difficult.
  • - Accessibility: easy to approach, reach, enter, speak with, or use; obtainable.
  • - Affordability: the state of being cheap enough for people to be able to buy.
  • - Self-discipline: the ability to control one's feelings and overcome one's weaknesses.
  • - Time management: the process of planning and exercising conscious control over the amount of time spent on specific activities.
  • - Social interaction: the process by which we act and react to those around us.
  • - Networking opportunities: chances to meet people who might be useful to know, especially in your job.
  • - Extracurricular activities: activities pursued in addition to the normal course of study.
  • - Quality of education: the standard or level of education.
  • - Rigorous: extremely thorough and accurate.
  • - Technological barriers: obstacles related to technology that prevent people from accomplishing a task.
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