IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the envirnonment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

#government #companies #waste #materials #treatment #facility #envirnonment #support #position
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A lot of millennials are of the notion that higher authorities should shut down the
factories
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 that are generating huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of hazardous
waste
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 without proper channels for their disposal. I will shed
the
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apply
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light on both
the
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apply
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views and put forward my opinion on the same.
To begin
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 with, nowadays,
due to
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increase
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the increase
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 in urbanization, cities are witnessing
the
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apply
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horizontal growth taking up major areas of the
country side
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countryside
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 which were earlier
alloted
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allotted
allowed
allocated
 to
factories
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.
Waste
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 from
factories
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 is directly contaminating the environment, which has detrimental effects on human health. For
an
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apply
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 dumping of
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factories
Fix the agreement mistake
factory
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waste
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 in the nearby water bodies from where the unfiltered water is being supplied to the general public.
According to
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 the survey report,in the
last
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 few
years
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years,
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 maximum cases of typhoid, cholera and
diarrhea
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diarrhoea
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 have been reported. Industrial units are not taking any preventive measures to curb
this
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 grave issue. Explaining
further
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,
factories
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 play a vital role in mass production and provide cheaper and faster goods.
Hence
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, closing the
factories
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 is not a suitable solution.
Therefore
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,
government
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the government
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 should join
hand
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hands
show examples
 with the local authorities to address
this
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 problem. Strict actions ought to be taken against the
factories
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 by providing them
strict
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with strict
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 guidelines
how
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on how
show examples
 to discard
the
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apply
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industrial
waste
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 and penalising those who ignore the instructions of the regulatory units.
Environment friendly
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Environment-friendly
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 methods should be followed to bury the
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factories
Change noun form
factory's
factories'
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waste
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 to avoid any ecological disruption. Sustainable solutions
such
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 as recycling,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
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 packaging and
waste
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 exchange can be introduced to handle
this
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 serious problem.
To conclude
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,
due to
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increase
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the increase
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 in the population bulk production is
need
Wrong verb form
needed
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 of the hour and shutting down
factories
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 is not a plausible solution. Industries
along with
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 government and regulating bodies should collaborate together to address the issue of factory
waste
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 keeping in mind the well-being of living organisms.
However
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, strict actions should be taken against the
factories
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 do not take calculative measures
while
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 disposing
off
Change the preposition
of
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 the toxic
waste
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jyotikhera2712 on

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task achievement
Ensure that specific examples or detailed scenarios are included to reinforce the points made. This will strengthen your essay and provide concrete evidence to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on refining the logical structure of the essay. While it is mostly clear, smoother transitions between paragraphs and ensuring all ideas flow logically will improve readability.
introduction conclusion present
Try to make the introduction more engaging by clearly outlining your stance from the start. This will help the reader understand your viewpoint more clearly.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives well and provides a balanced view on the topic.
introduction conclusion present
There is a clear introduction and conclusion present which helps to frame the essay effectively.
supported main points
The main points are effectively supported with some relevant details, showing a good understanding of the topic.
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