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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below show the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The graph below show the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
#show #change #prices #three #metals #summarise #information #features #comparisions
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The line graph displays the data on changes in the prices of copper,
nickel
Use synonyms
 and zinc
in
Change preposition
on
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 average for each month in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the average price change per month experienced a decrease in June and October for all three metals, and the large gap of the figures across those metals had
narrawed
Correct your spelling
narrowed
narrated
 by the end of the period. In
Janarary
Correct your spelling
January
,
Nickel
Use synonyms
 had the highest average monthly change in price, at ^%.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 data for zinc was only 1%, making it the lowest at
start
Add an article
the start
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.
However
Linking Words
, by the end of
Feburary
Correct your spelling
February
, the two lines crossed since the monthly variation in prices of zinc had reached 2.5%, with a significant increase in
Feburary
Correct your spelling
February
 followed by a slight drop, and that percentage of
nickel
Use synonyms
 largely declined to the same figure. From that time onwards, the average monthly variation of
nickel
Use synonyms
kepts
Correct your spelling
kept
keeps
 lagging behind the two others,
despites
Correct your spelling
despite
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 all three metals
represented
Wrong verb form
representing
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 a decrease in data in June and October, ending at 1% by December. Meanwhile, copper showed a smaller variation in the percentages over 2014
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the others, within only 3%.
Submitted by zhaodanling299 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words nickel with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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