IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
I believe that
todays
Correct your spelling
today
 we have
choices
 that are more than enough as far as some
people
 believe because of two
resons
Correct your spelling
reasons
, first and foremost, the
vraiety
Correct your spelling
variety
 between all kinds of
products
secondly
, social networks can easily
shown
Change the verb form
show
be shown
show examples
this
 matter.
First,
every
products
Change to a singular noun
product
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 getting more and more in each
categories
Change to a singular noun
category
show examples
.
Todays
Fix the agreement mistake
Today
show examples
bussiness are
Correct your spelling
businesses
produced
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
 their
products
 in many ranges
for supporting
Change preposition
to support
show examples
 every
types
Change to a singular noun
type
show examples
 of
wanted
Replace the word
want
show examples
 from
people
.
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 example,in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade Addidas only had 3 or 4 models of shoes that were so popular for
people
 but with
pasting
Correct your spelling
passing
show examples
 the time has more than one hundred models
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
even all of
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
unnkown
Correct your spelling
unknown
 which
is showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
this
 matter clearly.
Second,
social media websites are getting more and more popular and
for
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
people
 can see so many
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
choices
 because of
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 that are on
th
Correct your spelling
the
 network.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
befor
Correct your spelling
before
 that Instagram getting so favoritable for
people
 there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 not so many
choices
 for
people
 but now
people
 are spending a lot of
teir
Correct your spelling
their
 time on
this
 application and it is one the most important reasons for seeing new
products
 in
Correct article usage
a vraiety
show examples
vraiety
Correct your spelling
variety
 of kinds that
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 the amount of having
choices
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
bottem
Correct your spelling
bottom
 line,
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 is getting towards the way
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
 having
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
choices
 in all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of things and it is because of the network and
bussinessman
Correct your spelling
businessman
businessmen
 who want to
earning
Change the verb
earn
show examples
 more money.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Work on eliminating spelling and grammatical mistakes to improve readability. For example, 'todays' should be 'today', 'vraiety' should be 'variety', and 'bussiness' should be 'business'.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express your ideas more clearly and precisely.
task achievement
Make sure your arguments and examples are more elaborated. Try to provide more detailed and specific evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure and organization of ideas in paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides reasons and examples to support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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