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Band 5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
It is true that more and more
people
 are now using electrical devices to read
newspapers
 and
books
due to
 the progress of technology,
while
 printed reading materials may
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their way to survive. In my view, I agree that nobody will buy those actual items to read in the future. First of all, online reading
makes
Verb problem
allows
show examples
people
 easily access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information, which
safe
Correct your spelling
saves
show examples
 their time.
People
 don't need to go to the store or library to buy or borrow
newspapers
 and
books
. The only thing they need to do is search on the Internet and find things they want to read.
In addition
, the thing they read is free online.
While
people
 may need to
speand
Correct your spelling
spend
 a large amount of money on
newspapers
 and
books
 in the past, they can read without paying nowadays.
This phenomena
Change the determiner
This phenomenon
These phenomena
show examples
 can be shown
on
Change preposition
in
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 workplaces and
campus
Fix the agreement mistake
campuses
show examples
.
For example
, when searching for
business related
Add a hyphen
business-related
show examples
 news,
people
 only need to open the browser and look for the information.
Also
, textbooks are rarely seen
due to
 the electronic version
provides
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 a much more convenient and affordable trait
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 college students just bring their
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
 or laptop to school.
For example
, as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 English major student, the literature
books
 are usually heavy and very expensive.
However
, the online reading materials give students in our department a better option
that
Correct word choice
than
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 nobody brings paper-backed
books
. In conclusion, I believe that electronic
newspapers
 and
books
 will replace the printed
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may be out of date in the near future.
Submitted by lovesonya0227 on

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task achievement
Develop your arguments more thoroughly by providing additional details and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., however, moreover, therefore) to link your ideas more smoothly.
language accuracy
Proofread your work for grammar, spelling, and vocabulary mistakes to make sure your essay reads more fluently.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as those about business news and textbooks.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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