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Band 3.5

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #center #redevelopment
The following pictures
illutrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 a university sports
centre
 at the present time and how it will be in the future. At first glance, it is evident that the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
 is planned to go under several changes.
However
, the 25m pool, seating section and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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reception will remain the same after the developments. Another interesting point is
thet
Correct your spelling
that
 the gym will be expanded in the future. Looking at the details, both west and east outdoor courts are projected to be a part of
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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centre
 building. The western outdoor court will be converted
to
Change preposition
into
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 a leisure pool, followed by adding a changing room and sports shop
in
Change preposition
on
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 the south side of it.
Following
this
, the eastern outdoor court will turn into a
sport
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sports
show examples
 hall with other different sections, including two
separated
Replace the word
separate
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 dance studios next to each other
in
Change preposition
on
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 the right side, and a changing room and a cafe at the bottom.
Overall
, the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
 will be a more extended place in the future, offering more activities
such
 as dancing.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

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task achievement
Consider adding more detailed descriptions and comparisons of changes to the sports center layout to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure accurate spelling and grammatical consistency throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion clearly describe the overall changes to the sports center.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure.
supported main points
Main points are suitably supported with specific references to the layout changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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