Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?
Although
some people claim that professional athletes can behave as they want in their personal life
if they play well in the field, I totally disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
view because they are regarded as role models and function as an
Correct article usage
apply
advertisement
. In Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
this
essay, I elaborate on my opinion.
The primary reason why I oppose the idea that professional sports players should behave approximately
is that they are celebrities and are considered Correct your spelling
appropriately
as
role models. Since they often appear on TV programs and news, their influence Change preposition
apply
in
Change preposition
on
public
is never neglected. Correct article usage
the public
For instance
, if they smoke and drink alcohol excessively, young generations will follow them and copy their inappropriate manners. Therefore
, Their behaviors
off the field Change the spelling
behaviours
does
count.
Change the verb form
do
Additionally
, they function as an advertisement for companies which sponsor him. As the value of enterprises is certainly affected by what their supporting athletes do, any scandal of them will jeopardise their business. Thus
, corporations will cancel their sponsoring immediately when a scandal about a
related sports figures Correct article usage
apply
come
out. A good illustration for Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
this
is that no sooner had an affair of a Japanese sports player been featured than an enterprise cut off their contract. That is
why they should stay in a good manner even if they are apart from the field.
In conclusion, one of he
controversial topics relates to how professional athletes should behave off the ground. I strongly believe they should act properly because they are emulated in public and companies which sponsor them expect them to bring positive impacts to Correct your spelling
the
the
society under their name.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
While the essay gives a complete response to the task, introducing both reasons and examples, the clarity of ideas can be improved. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and avoid minor grammatical inaccuracies (e.g., 'Their behaviors off the field does count.' should be 'Their behaviors off the field do count.').
coherence cohesion
To enhance transparency and encourage ease of reading, linking phrases could be improved to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly (e.g., using phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' or 'Moreover,' more effectively).
introduction conclusion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly presenting and summarizing the writer's viewpoint.
supported main points
Main points are well supported by relevant examples, making the arguments more compelling.