Using computers for a long time may have a lot of negative effects on children so it should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The emergence of
computers
has helped us in many ways, regardless of the user's age. Use synonyms
However
, when a child uses a Linking Words
computer
for a long Use synonyms
time
, it might Use synonyms
causes
many potential drawbacks Change the verb form
cause
on
their Change preposition
to
overall
Linking Words
development
and it should be restricted. I strongly agree that the Use synonyms
use
of Use synonyms
computers
Use synonyms
need
to be limited to Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
children
as it can badly affect their health.
Use synonyms
Long
Add a hyphen
Long-time
time
Use synonyms
use
of Use synonyms
electronical
devices, mainly Correct your spelling
electronic
computers
, might decline Use synonyms
children
's cognitive Use synonyms
development
. They have to spend Use synonyms
time
communicating with Use synonyms
another human beings
Replace the adjective
another human being
other human beings
instead
of staring at a screen in order to stimulate their brain. There have been multiple cases where Linking Words
children
experience speech delay Use synonyms
as a result
of excessive Linking Words
Use synonyms
computer's
Change noun form
computer
screentime
. Correct your spelling
screen time
Therefore
, parents should limit the usage of Linking Words
Use synonyms
computer
so the Fix the agreement mistake
computers
children
can have a great cognitive Use synonyms
development
.
Another side effect of Use synonyms
unhealthy
amount of Add an article
an unhealthy
time
on Use synonyms
Use synonyms
computer
is that it Add an article
the computer
a computer
worsened
Wrong verb form
worsens
children
's eyesight. It is bad for adults to work for a long Use synonyms
time
in front of a laptop, let alone kids Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
at
their
early age. The radiation from the screen is capable Change the word
an
to weaken
eyesight. Change preposition
of weakening
For instance
, my 7-year-old cousin is already using Linking Words
perscriptive
glasses because her parents were being careless Correct your spelling
prescriptive
prescription
of
her Change preposition
about
use
of Use synonyms
Use synonyms
computer
. Add an article
a computer
the computer
Thus
, Linking Words
children
need to be Use synonyms
attented
Correct your spelling
attended
when
they Change preposition
to when
use
Use synonyms
PC
and they should be given Fix the agreement mistake
PCs
Use synonyms
time
limit Add an article
a time
the time
of
using any devices since they are the possible reason Change preposition
for
of
a child's bad eyesight.
In conclusion, parents should be more attentive to their Change preposition
for
child
to restrict Fix the agreement mistake
children
computer
usage as Use synonyms
long
Add a hyphen
long-time
time
Use synonyms
use
of Use synonyms
computers
might concern their health and cognitive Use synonyms
development
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or studies to further strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning any scientific studies or statistics regarding the overuse of computers among children could add more weight to your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on integrating your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph follows logically from the previous one. Transitional phrases or sentences can help make your essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You presented clear main points in each paragraph, which contributes to a well-structured essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.