The best way to reduce, the amount of traftic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is sometimes argued that reducing the demand for

people

Use synonyms

to go to workplaces, schools or malls is the best way to decrease the number of transport on city roads nowadays.

While

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there are some benefits to

this

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option, I partly disagree with

this

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notion

due to

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the risks it presents. On the

one

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hand, the idea of encouraging

people

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to stay at home to solve the problem of

traffic

Use synonyms

is beneficial to some extent.

Firstly

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, the amount of emissions from vehicles can significantly decline. In fact,

one

Use synonyms

of the most prevalent factors that cause global warming is the rocketing in

people

Use synonyms

who use personal transport.

For example

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, Ha Noi city which has a high percentage of private vehicles has a huge mass of fine dust in its atmosphere.

Secondly

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, development in online platforms is required for shopping online

as well as

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working and studying from home. That requirement,

consequently

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, can encourage innovations which are more convenient and advanced in technology.

On the other hand

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, despite the above-mentioned advantages, I believe that

this

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opinion should not be applied. The main

one

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is that the need for travelling for work, study or shopping purposes is impractical to reduce.

This

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is because controversies among inhabitants will appear when they are forced to ease their indispensable demands.

Additionally

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, more social problems will increase as well. During the

covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

show examples

pandemic, for

one

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, the proportion of divorce had risen

due to

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several causes, leading to a decline in the rate of national happiness.

Instead

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, facilitating public transport appears to be a superior alternative solution.

For instance

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, by investing excessively in building elevated and underground railways, Japan has managed to reduce

traffic

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volume considerably, easing congestion on roads. In conclusion, it is futile trying to get

people

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to stay at home more for the sake of

traffic

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and investing in modern means of public transit would be a better remedy when it comes to alleviating

traffic

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. It is suggested that governments around the world judiciously examine

this

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approach and consider the possibility of adopting it.

Submitted by khanhhan13067 on Sun Sep 22 2024

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task achievement

To enhance your Task Achievement score, try incorporating more specific and detailed examples to support your argument. This will make your points more convincing and well-rounded.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Maintain this clarity while ensuring your arguments directly address the essay prompt.

coherence cohesion

For improved Coherence and Cohesion, further develop the linkage between paragraphs and ideas. Use a greater variety of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear logical structure, which is commendable. Continue creating well-structured essays with clearly defined sections—introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

Your essay presents clear, comprehensive ideas which are easy to understand. This significantly supports your Task Achievement score.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a relevant introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points effectively.

task achievement

You have provided relevant examples which help illustrate your points. Continue to include specific examples that strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Maintaining a clear introduction and conclusion ensures your essay is easy to follow, aiding your Coherence and Cohesion score.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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The best way to reduce, the amount of traftic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It must be a woman who stays at home to care for children. Men are not suited to this kind of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult. Does modern technology reduce or increase stress?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?