IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing porcess for making sugar from sugar crane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing porcess for making sugar from sugar crane.
#porcess #sugar #crane
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The diagram illustrates different stages in
process
Correct article usage
the process
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 of manufacturing
sugar
Use synonyms
 from
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process consists of 7 stages from growing to drying and cooling. The process starts with farming, and it takes nearly 12-18 months
the
Change preposition
for the
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 plant
getting
Verb problem
to reach
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 its mature stage.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 stage, the harvest
are
Change the verb form
is
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 collected by means of machines or manually and the raw
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
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 are transported for crushing.
At
Change preposition
As
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 result of
crush
Correct article usage
the crush
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, the juice is obtained which is purified in the Limestone filter.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
jouce
Correct your spelling
juice
 boiled in
evaporator
Correct article usage
an evaporator
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 in order to get syrup. The evaporation boils it up to the point where its water content is completely evaporated. The remained part is sent to Centrifuge in order to disparate crystal from syrup.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the product is
submitted
Verb problem
subjected
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 to drying and cooling in order to get
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
sugar
Use synonyms
 was packed and transported to the
wholesales
Fix the agreement mistake
wholesale
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 for clients.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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