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Band 2.5

Population are growing in cities rapidly. What are the effects of it. What solution can you give to maintain a goood quality of life in urban cities.

#population #cities #effects #goood #quality #life
It is undeniable that in today's
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
people
 are moving to urban
cities
 for fulfilling their daily needs. It is causing so many problems. In
this
 essay, I will discuss some effects and some ways to improve the quality of life in urban
cities
. The main reason behind
this
 is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of opportunities in rural areas.
People
 have to commute every day for work, rather they choose to live in the
cities
. The result of
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 population is causing pollution in very high
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
.
People
 are having health problems
due to
 noise and air
polllution
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 survey
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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taken by medical students,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows number of
people
 who are
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 headaches
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 increased
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 2 years.
Moreover
, it is causing traffic jams
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 causing
delay
Fix the agreement mistake
delays
show examples
 in everyone's schedule. There are some ways to improve the quality of life.
The one
Correct article usage
One
show examples
 way is to provide employment in rural areas so, that
people
 will not move to urban
cities
 they will get all their
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 area.
The another
Remove the article
Another
show examples
 way
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is by promoting camps,
classes
Correct word choice
and classes
show examples
for creating
Change preposition
to create
show examples
 awareness among
people
.In which, information can
be share
Change the verb form
be shared
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 youth for doing exercise and doing regular gym. In
th
Correct your spelling
the
 conclusion, there are so many
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
 we are having
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of the big issue but, there are some ways
also
 to maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health by creating
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
.
Submitted by kaursaijbir on

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task achievement
To improve in Task Achievement, ensure you fully address all aspects of the task. Discuss not just the effects, but also provide comprehensive solutions, and be more specific.
coherence cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on the logical flow of your essay. Use transition words effectively to connect your points and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
supported main points
Develop your main points more thoroughly by providing additional details and examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good for structuring your essay.
complete response
You attempted to address both parts of the task, which shows a good understanding of the essay question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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