Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think that actions can be taken to bring the change. Discuss both views and give your opinion
It is argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
plants
and animals
are affected by the
human activities around the Correct article usage
apply
world
. Some experties
believe that changes can be made to it, Correct your spelling
experts
expertise
while
other
thinks that it's not possible. I completely agree with the ideas and will support my opinion in Fix the agreement mistake
others
this
essay with examples.
Currently, the population in the world
is increasing day by day. So, in orded
to fit humans in the Correct your spelling
order
world
, the authorities are cutting trees, mountains and the
forests, which affects the Correct article usage
apply
plants
and animals
. Because of demolishing
of the forests, Correct article usage
the demolishing
animals
are left with no or fewer place
to live on the earth. Even the Fix the agreement mistake
places
world
is loosing
its greenery because of Replace the word
losing
cutting
of Correct article usage
the cutting
plants
and trees.
As both
Correct word choice
Both
plants
and animals
have their own importance. They should be saved. If we do not take proper actions on time then
there are more chances that we will loose
different species of herbs and Replace the word
lose
animals
. The authorities can introduce various laws, of planting more and more trees and remaking new forests, to maintain the greenery of the earth, which will not only save the vegetation of the earth but will also
make the temperature cool and pleasent
for the humans. Correct your spelling
pleasant
However
, the government should make specific places in which animals
will be save
and can freely Change the verb form
be saved
rome
here and there without any fears of Correct your spelling
travel
human
.
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Moreover
, it is also
assumed that with growing time it will be hard for authorities to protect plants
and animals
in the world
because not
Correct your spelling
no
matters
what actions a Correct subject-verb agreement
matter
governnment
takes, still they will have toCorrect your spelling
government
cutoff
their homes and fit Correct your spelling
cut
humanbeings
there. Correct your spelling
human beings
Along with
it
the harsh and savage behaviours of the people towards Add a comma
it,
animals
is
another reason Correct subject-verb agreement
are
of
their decay in the future.
Change preposition
for
Hence
, it is proven that public activities have a huge impact on herbs and animals
. The government can play a vital role in protecting them for
Change preposition
from
a
decay, but Remove the article
apply
still
it is assumed that no one can save them from a disaster.Add a comma
still,
Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grammar
Watch out for spelling errors (e.g., 'experties' should be 'experts', 'orded' should be 'order', 'loosing' should be 'losing', 'rome' should be 'roam', 'governnment' should be 'government', 'humanbeings' should be 'human beings').
Grammar issues also need attention. There are repeated errors such as incorrect verb forms and articles (e.g., 'It is argued that the plants and animals are affected by the human activities around the world.' should be 'It is argued that plants and animals are affected by human activities around the world.)'.
Content and Structure
Some ideas in the essay need further clarification and depth. For example, while you mention laws and specific places for plants and animals, you could expand on what these laws might look like or give examples of places where this has worked.
Try to balance the discussion of both views more. The idea that changes can be made to protect plants and animals isn't explored as thoroughly as the idea that it is impossible.
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus. The second body paragraph shifts between ideas about the actions of authorities and the behavior of individuals; separating these points could make the argument clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on strengthening the linkage between ideas within paragraphs. For instance, in the second paragraph, making the connection between deforestation and its broader impacts on ecosystems and climate more explicit could enhance coherence.
Consider using more varied and academic transitional phrases to improve cohesion (e.g., 'Moreover', 'In addition', 'However', 'Consequently').
Structure and Examples
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the writer's viewpoint.
You provided relevant specific examples, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Balance and Support
The main points are well-identified and generally supported with relevant information.
The essay displays a clear attempt to balance the discussion of both perspectives, which is crucial for a task like this.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.