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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The maps describe the development of Grange
Use synonyms
park
Capitalize word
Park
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 from 1920 to now.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are several
change
Change to a plural noun
changes
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the contruction
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contruction
Correct your spelling
construction
 of the
park
Use synonyms
. The biggest change has
Add a missing verb
been
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seen in the east part of the
park
Use synonyms
 and the relocation of infrastructures. Looking at the map
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1920 more closely, we can see that a fountain was located in the centre,
a
Correct word choice
and a
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stage for musicians was situated to the west. There were five seats and three rose gardens
contructed
Correct your spelling
constructed
 around the
park
Use synonyms
. there was a pond for water plants in the northeast and a glasshouse in the southeast. there were two
entrance
Fix the agreement mistake
entrances
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, one
run
Replace the word
ran
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 along Arnold
avenue
Capitalize word
Avenue
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 to the north and
other
Correct article usage
the other
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run
Replace the word
ran
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 along Eldon
street
Capitalize word
Street
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 to the south. Turning to the map today, a rose garden has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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taken
place
Correct article usage
the place
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 of
fountain
Correct article usage
a fountain
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, which has been removed.
there
Correct your spelling
These
show examples
 four seats have been moved to the centre, covering around the rose garden. Having a removal of
stage
Add an article
the stage
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 for musicians,
a
Change the article
an
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Amphithearte
Correct your spelling
Amphitheatre
 for concerts has been
contructed
Correct your spelling
constructed
. A rose garden and ponds of water plants have been replaced by a cafe and children's play. there is a water feature built, which has taken
place
Correct article usage
the place
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 of
glasshouse
Add an article
the glasshouse
a glasshouse
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
 ,

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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