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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#two #maps #show #park #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps describe the development of Grange
park
Capitalize word
Park
show examples
 from 1920 to now.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 there are several
change
Change to a plural noun
changes
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the contruction
show examples
contruction
Correct your spelling
construction
 of the
park
. The biggest change has
Add a missing verb
been
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seen in the east part of the
park
 and the relocation of infrastructures. Looking at the map
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1920 more closely, we can see that a fountain was located in the centre,
a
Correct word choice
and a
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stage for musicians was situated to the west. There were five seats and three rose gardens
contructed
Correct your spelling
constructed
 around the
park
. there was a pond for water plants in the northeast and a glasshouse in the southeast. there were two
entrance
Fix the agreement mistake
entrances
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, one
run
Replace the word
ran
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 along Arnold
avenue
Capitalize word
Avenue
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 to the north and
other
Correct article usage
the other
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run
Replace the word
ran
show examples
 along Eldon
street
Capitalize word
Street
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 to the south. Turning to the map today, a rose garden has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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taken
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of
fountain
Correct article usage
a fountain
show examples
, which has been removed.
there
Correct your spelling
These
show examples
 four seats have been moved to the centre, covering around the rose garden. Having a removal of
stage
Add an article
the stage
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 for musicians,
a
Change the article
an
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Amphithearte
Correct your spelling
Amphitheatre
 for concerts has been
contructed
Correct your spelling
constructed
. A rose garden and ponds of water plants have been replaced by a cafe and children's play. there is a water feature built, which has taken
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of
glasshouse
Add an article
the glasshouse
a glasshouse
show examples
.
Finally
 ,
Submitted by tranghathu16hd on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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