Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

#people #behavior #sportsmen #field #players

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The

behaviour

of professional sportsmen is debatable. Some people believe that it is very important for them to explicit desirable

behaviour

whether off the field or not.

This

essay will discuss why professional

sportsmen

Change noun form

sportsmen's

show examples

behaviour

is not important in the field and why it doesn't affect their performance .

Firstly

, I do believe that the

behaviour

of every performer matters a lot.

This

is because discipline leads to good performance. If a person doesn't behave well the probability of his / her winning is low.

For example

Correct your spelling

show examples

a good player

indulge

Correct subject-verb agreement

indulges

show examples

in alcoholism , his achievement will eventually be affected

thus

leading to , misbehaving and

end

Add an article

the end

show examples

result being disqualified.

On the other hand

Submitted by joycechumbaa86 on Mon Sep 23 2024

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task achievement

You have presented relevant main points and started discussing them effectively. However, your essay abruptly ends, leaving out important parts of the argument. Make sure to complete your essay with clear points and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences need to be more clear and structured. For example, 'For example, is a good player indulge in alcoholism' should be 'For example, if a good player indulges in alcoholism'. Paying attention to grammar and sentence structure will improve clarity.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly states the topic and presents a view, which is good for readers to understand the direction of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

114 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
media-driven
publicized
public opinion
societal norms
brand representation
sponsors
inappropriate behavior
team dynamics
morale
personal accountability
public image
career and legacy
off-field behavior

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Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

Fully explain your ideas

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and long term?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as Sahara desert or Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages of going there.

More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive or negation development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.Write at least 250 words.