Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion:

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Earning a
degree
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from college is considered more important by some people,
while
Linking Words
others argue that work
experience
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holds greater value compared to just having a university
degree
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. In my view, individuals with a university
degree
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have had the opportunity to acquire both academic knowledge and essential
skills
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, which can significantly benefit their employers. There is no doubt that a university
degree
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opens doors to more opportunities in specific fields. It is evident that most high-paying job opportunities require a strong educational background,
such
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as in medicine, law, or engineering. In today’s educational system, curriculums are designed not only to provide theoretical knowledge but
also
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to develop personal
skills
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like time management, commitment, problem-solving, and effective communication.
For instance
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, group projects and presentations foster teamwork and public speaking, both of which are highly valued in the workplace.
On the other hand
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, individuals with work
experience
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tend to develop practical, lifelong
skills
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through direct interactions in the professional world. These
skills
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often make them more suited for roles that demand leadership qualities,
such
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as project management positions.
Furthermore
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, people involved in fieldwork,
such
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as construction, gain hands-on
experience
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that can be more beneficial to their employers than the theoretical knowledge of someone with only a certificate. In conclusion,
while
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some jobs require hands-on
experience
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, others place greater emphasis on education and the
skills
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gained through earning a certificate or
degree
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. Ultimately, the choice between
experience
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and education depends on the specific requirements of the job, with each bringing its own set of advantages to the table.

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task achievement
Ensure your examples are more varied and detailed. Adding more specific scenarios can enhance the clarity of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
To improve cohesion, consider using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and presents a balanced view of both sides, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and provides a thoughtful perspective on the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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