In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some

countries

Use synonyms

have a high rate of unemployed people. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

these

countries

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are still developing, they need resources from developed

countries

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but sometimes these developing

countries

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cannot

fullfil

Correct your spelling

fulfil

the requirement which changes its one of the

scenario

Fix the agreement mistake

scenarios

show examples

which affects jobs for their young professionals

becasue

Correct your spelling

because

this

Linking Words

the individuals of that

countries

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believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that it is better to let their

children

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go for just primary

school

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not

Add the comma(s)

, not

show examples

secondary

Add an article

a secondary

show examples

school

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School

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structure

Correct subject-verb agreement

structures

show examples

the

Use synonyms

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

brain and

development

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which will help in enhancing the

peronal

Correct your spelling

personal

and professional

development

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of each individual.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement and will present suitable examples.

Schools

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are structuring each and every

individuals

Change to a genitive case

individual's

show examples

Use synonyms

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

growth and

development

Use synonyms

to deal with

physical

Add an article

the physical

show examples

and professional world.

For example

Linking Words

, recently I

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

read in one of the

newpapers

Correct your spelling

newspapers

that one boy coming from

developing

Correct article usage

a developing

show examples

country even though he didn't

came

Change the verb form

come

show examples

from

wealthy

Add an article

a wealthy

show examples

family but with his

school

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and

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

supports

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support

show examples

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

finished his education early. So, to

supports

Wrong verb form

support

show examples

this

Linking Words

we can say that

schools

Use synonyms

are structing the

Use synonyms

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

growth and

to let

Change the verb form

letting

show examples

their

children

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educate

Wrong verb form

be educated

show examples

until secondary is very

imoprtant

Correct your spelling

important

as in high

schools

Use synonyms

we choose our best subjects to help us grow

through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

further

Linking Words

in our life.

Secondly

Linking Words

, as

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

each

individuals

Change to a singular noun

individual

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

learning best from

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

high

school

Use synonyms

they are capable

to create

Change preposition

of creating

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

employment of their own as they are smart enough to make it through

thier

Correct your spelling

their

life.

For example

Linking Words

, the top

CEO's

Change noun form

CEOs

show examples

of the

countries

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are coming from developing

countries

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so in general developing

countries

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have a lot of talent in it.

Schools

Use synonyms

are just helping them structure to make it through

physical

Add an article

the physical

show examples

and professional world.

Although

Linking Words

, in some

countries

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its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

a fact that they don't have

proper

Correct article usage

the proper

show examples

resources to let their

children

Use synonyms

go through high

school

Use synonyms

because of

this

Linking Words

they opt to move out

through

Change preposition

show examples

their

countries

Use synonyms

to learn from

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

schools

Use synonyms

and universities.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

some

countries

Use synonyms

like Nigeria they are lacking in some resources so their

each

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

opt to move out of

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

to find a proper

educationa

Correct your spelling

education

educational

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

employment. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

employment is

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

important source for them to feed their family.

To sum up

Linking Words

schools

Use synonyms

are very

imoprtant

Correct your spelling

important

for

child

Use synonyms

growth and

development

Use synonyms

especially high

school

Use synonyms

so,

Correct pronoun usage

it its

show examples

its

Correct your spelling

show examples

very crucial to go to high

school

Use synonyms

to deal with

physical

Add an article

the physical

show examples

and professional world.

Although

Linking Words

, there are some factors which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

affecting them to go

for

Change preposition

show examples

high

school

Use synonyms

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

with the help of developed

countries

Use synonyms

we can still overcome

this

Linking Words

situation.

pearlshah2912

Sep 23, 2024

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task achievement

Your essay covers the essential points, but some arguments lack depth. Try to elaborate more on why secondary education is crucial and how it benefits individuals and society as a whole.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay more clearly. Ensure each paragraph has one main idea supported by relevant examples. This will help in maintaining a logical structure and avoid confusing the reader.

grammar

Be mindful of grammatical errors and typos. For instance, 'imoprtant' should be 'important', and 'to supports this' should be 'to support this'. A more polished writing style improves readability and coherence.

introduction

Your introduction is clear and provides a good overview of the essay's main points. This helps set a strong foundation for your argument.

examples

You provided some relevant examples to support your points. This helps in illustrating your arguments and making them more convincing.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay, reinforcing your argument against limiting education to primary school only.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

414 words

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In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome the stress of everyday life is to spend a portion of the day doing absolutely nothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to your friend who you recently travelled with to a foreign country. Include • Why you enjoyed the trip • What you are doing now • An invitation to visit you now

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.