In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some

countries

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have a high rate of unemployed people. As

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apply

show examples

these

countries

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are still developing, they need resources from developed

countries

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but sometimes these developing

countries

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cannot

fullfil

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fulfil

the requirement which changes its one of the

scenario

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scenarios

show examples

which affects jobs for their young professionals

becasue

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because

this

Linking Words

the individuals of that

countries

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believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that it is better to let their

children

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go for just primary

school

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not

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, not

show examples

secondary

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a secondary

show examples

school

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School

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structure

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structures

show examples

the

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child

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child's

show examples

brain and

development

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which will help in enhancing the

peronal

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personal

and professional

development

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of each individual.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why I disagree with

this

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statement and will present suitable examples.

Schools

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are structuring each and every

individuals

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individual's

show examples

Use synonyms

child

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child's

show examples

growth and

development

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to deal with

physical

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the physical

show examples

and professional world.

For example

Linking Words

, recently I

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

read in one of the

newpapers

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newspapers

that one boy coming from

developing

Correct article usage

a developing

show examples

country even though he didn't

came

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come

show examples

from

wealthy

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a wealthy

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family but with his

school

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and

parents

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parents'

parent's

show examples

supports

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support

show examples

has

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apply

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finished his education early. So, to

supports

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support

show examples

this

Linking Words

we can say that

schools

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are structing the

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child

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child's

show examples

growth and

to let

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letting

show examples

their

children

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educate

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be educated

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until secondary is very

imoprtant

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important

as in high

schools

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we choose our best subjects to help us grow

through

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apply

show examples

further

Linking Words

in our life.

Secondly

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, as

the

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apply

show examples

each

individuals

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individual

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

learning best from

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

high

school

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they are capable

to create

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of creating

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

employment of their own as they are smart enough to make it through

thier

Correct your spelling

their

life.

For example

Linking Words

, the top

CEO's

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CEOs

show examples

of the

countries

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are coming from developing

countries

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so in general developing

countries

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have a lot of talent in it.

Schools

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are just helping them structure to make it through

physical

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the physical

show examples

and professional world.

Although

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, in some

countries

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its

Replace the word

it's

it is

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a fact that they don't have

proper

Correct article usage

the proper

show examples

resources to let their

children

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go through high

school

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because of

this

Linking Words

they opt to move out

through

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show examples

their

countries

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to learn from

best

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the best

show examples

schools

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and universities.

For

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example

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example,

show examples

some

countries

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like Nigeria they are lacking in some resources so their

each

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

children

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opt to move out of

country

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the country

show examples

to find a proper

educationa

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education

educational

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and

show examples

employment. As

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apply

show examples

employment is

very

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a very

show examples

important source for them to feed their family.

To sum up

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schools

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are very

imoprtant

Correct your spelling

important

for

child

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growth and

development

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especially high

school

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so,

Correct pronoun usage

it its

show examples

its

Correct your spelling

show examples

very crucial to go to high

school

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to deal with

physical

Add an article

the physical

show examples

and professional world.

Although

Linking Words

, there are some factors which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

affecting them to go

for

Change preposition

show examples

high

school

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but

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apply

show examples

with the help of developed

countries

Use synonyms

we can still overcome

this

Linking Words

situation.

pearlshah2912Mon Sep 23 2024

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task achievement

Your essay covers the essential points, but some arguments lack depth. Try to elaborate more on why secondary education is crucial and how it benefits individuals and society as a whole.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay more clearly. Ensure each paragraph has one main idea supported by relevant examples. This will help in maintaining a logical structure and avoid confusing the reader.

grammar

Be mindful of grammatical errors and typos. For instance, 'imoprtant' should be 'important', and 'to supports this' should be 'to support this'. A more polished writing style improves readability and coherence.

introduction

Your introduction is clear and provides a good overview of the essay's main points. This helps set a strong foundation for your argument.

examples

You provided some relevant examples to support your points. This helps in illustrating your arguments and making them more convincing.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay, reinforcing your argument against limiting education to primary school only.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

414 words

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In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.

in the past, people wore their traditional clothes and followed their cultures. these days, most people wear similar clothes and therefore look very similar to one another. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does the shortage of fresh water cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some believe that going to university is the best route to a successful career. While others believe that is it better to start work straight after high school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

it is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviours in addition to providing formal education. to what extent do you agree or disagree?