Some people believe that stricter punishments can reduce crime rates. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The debate
whether
strict punishments should be implemented or not to lower the level of Change preposition
about whether
crime
is ongoing. Many Use synonyms
people
think if the government introduces Use synonyms
laws
to punish criminals, Use synonyms
this
can in consequence lead Linking Words
people
to fear the Use synonyms
laws
and they will not Use synonyms
likely
to commit Add a missing verb
be likely
Use synonyms
crime
. Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
For instance
, many countries Linking Words
such
as Saudia Arabia and Palestine have very strict Linking Words
laws
against drugs Use synonyms
where
Correct word choice
and
people
can even lose their fingers if they are found out of Use synonyms
commiting
these crimes.
Many studies Correct your spelling
committing
shows
that countries in the Middle East have lower rates of Change the verb form
show
crime
because most Use synonyms
people
are afraid for their lives. Use synonyms
This
can contribute to a safer society where everyone Linking Words
respect
each other and Change the verb form
respects
follow
the rules. But Change the verb form
follows
this
is not all, there are many other benefits. Linking Words
For instance
, money that Linking Words
are
being used to feed these criminals can be used in better ways, Change the verb form
is
such
as building Linking Words
infrastractures
, roads, hospitals and parks.
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
infrastructures
On the other hand
, some other individuals believe that having these rules will not do much because they think that Linking Words
crime
is not something that can be eliminated and reduced easily. They believe that a person Use synonyms
commiting
a Correct your spelling
committing
commits
crime
may have many different reasons, Use synonyms
such
as poverty is one of them. Linking Words
People
commit crimes because they do not have enough to eat or provide for their families and Use synonyms
this
can force them to steal. Linking Words
Additionally
, education plays an important role here. Some studies show that less educated Linking Words
people
who dropped out of high school were more likely to commit dangerous crimes compared to Use synonyms
people
who went to college and finished their studies.
In conclusion, I Use synonyms
definetely
think stricter Correct your spelling
definitely
laws
should be implemented in every country, but every person should have Use synonyms
the
adequate financial support from the government and they should Correct article usage
apply
receieve
the education they need.Correct your spelling
receive
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coherence/cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct topic to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
Though the essay is quite comprehensive, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Proofreading for minor errors could improve clarity.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced discussion on both views, providing relevant examples to support your points.
coherence/cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, making your argument clear from start to finish.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?