You recently travelled by train on a long journey and you experienced various problems. Write a letter to the train company’s head office. In your letter, give the details of your journey, including the date, time and where you sat explain the problems that happened and express your dissatisfaction ask about what action will be taken to improve the service

#train #journey #company’s #head #office #date #time #dissatisfaction #action #service

Hi, Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my annoyance regarding your train service that disappeared me during

last

week travel with it. Actually,I made an excursion from Bombay to Delhi on Tuesday, April 19th for my business conference related to our enterprise's new project.As normally I rely on your company transport for my travel plan so I did the same but it got me dissatisfied on that day.What disappointed me a lot was your staff service they ignored me

while

I was around to make any request.They didn't behave well with me and their way of greeting passengers was extremely rude.

Moreover

, the food was provided not good enough in taste and appearance.It was smelling like one week old cooked and unfortunately, I was feeling sick after having it.So,I request you please put your attention to these serious issues that introduce obstacles to your reputation and

also

to travellers. I hope you can understand my concern and give me a positive response to it. Thank you Yours faithfully, Preet

Submitted by kaurbhagwant95 on Thu Apr 25 2024

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Tone

Consider using a more formal tone throughout the letter, particularly in addressing the recipient and in the sign-off.

Grammar

Make sure to proofread your letter to correct minor grammatical errors and enhance readability.

Detail

Clarify the details of your journey by specifying the train number or service, if possible, to strengthen the context of your complaint.

Structure

Using structured paragraphs for each issue discussed can improve the letter's coherence and make your concerns more clear.

Task Response

Your letter successfully conveys your dissatisfaction and experiences during your train journey, which is central to the task response.

Coherence and Cohesion

You made effective use of paragraphing to separate different points, which aids in the letter's overall coherence and cohesion.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

171 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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