IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You recently travelled by train on a long journey and you experienced various problems. Write a letter to the train company’s head office. In your letter, give the details of your journey, including the date, time and where you sat explain the problems that happened and express your dissatisfaction ask about what action will be taken to improve the service

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Hi, Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my annoyance regarding your train service that disappeared me during
last
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 week travel with it. Actually,I made an excursion from Bombay to Delhi on Tuesday, April 19th for my business conference related to our enterprise's new project.As normally I rely on your company transport for my travel plan so I did the same but it got me dissatisfied on that day.What disappointed me a lot was your staff service they ignored me
while
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 I was around to make any request.They didn't behave well with me and their way of greeting passengers was extremely rude.
Moreover
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, the food was provided not good enough in taste and appearance.It was smelling like one week old cooked and unfortunately, I was feeling sick after having it.So,I request you please put your attention to these serious issues that introduce obstacles to your reputation and
also
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 to travellers. I hope you can understand my concern and give me a positive response to it. Thank you Yours faithfully, Preet

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Tone
Consider using a more formal tone throughout the letter, particularly in addressing the recipient and in the sign-off.
Grammar
Make sure to proofread your letter to correct minor grammatical errors and enhance readability.
Detail
Clarify the details of your journey by specifying the train number or service, if possible, to strengthen the context of your complaint.
Structure
Using structured paragraphs for each issue discussed can improve the letter's coherence and make your concerns more clear.
Task Response
Your letter successfully conveys your dissatisfaction and experiences during your train journey, which is central to the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
You made effective use of paragraphing to separate different points, which aids in the letter's overall coherence and cohesion.
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